


Show Me You Care

by Lynn_Winchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anger, Angst, Blind!Dean, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Minor Injuries, Near Death Experiences, Physical Therapy, Serious Injuries, Therapy, Violence, hurt!Dean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-01
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2018-03-04 17:35:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 34,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3076292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lynn_Winchester/pseuds/Lynn_Winchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a bad case takes a turn for the worst, Dean is left in critical condition, and is on the mend. The good news? He is alive. The bad news? He is blind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Eyes Wide Shut

**Author's Note:**

> From a tumblr prompt: Blind!Dean from anonymous!  
> Whomever you are, I hope you enjoy, as well as anyone else who happens upon this little story. 
> 
> AU: Bobby and Ellen did not die. Instead, they survived, and got married. Reader attended Stanford with Sam, and they were friends back then.  
> Enjoy!

"Dean! Come on! Hurry up! It's gaining on us!" Sam shouted while he turned halfway around and shot three bullets in the direction of the werewolf chasing quickly behind them. The woods were thick and dark, making the getaway much more difficult than the boys anticipated. The beast had nearly taken out Dean's knee on the way out of the house, so he wasn't quite one hundred percent, but he was trying his damnedest to push himself. The silver bullets Sam was using weren't making too much of an effect, as this thing wanted them dead, and wanted it bad. It yipped like a dog when the silver contacted it's skin, but still it pressed on. Gaining on them. Two more appeared from the left and the right, and both Winchesters knew that they had made a very big mistake on this case. 

There was just supposed to be one big werewolf. It was a surprise when his equally large sister and brother appeared. They had stumbled into an entire pack, and they were in no way prepared to take them all on, but they had been caught, narrowly escaped, and now they were on the run. 

"Sammy!" Dean called out when Sam stopped running, trying to get a clear shot at the leader werewolf's heart. The shot rang out and the leader fell, transforming backing into a human, dead on the ground. The remaining two wolves howled in anger, while Dean grabbed Sam's arm and took off running again. It only took moments for the beasts to catch up, the female jumping Sam, and the younger brother wolf taking Dean out. 

"Dean! Dean!" Sam called, hearing nothing but the sound of his elder brother struggling on the ground. The female wolf struggled against Sam, clawing at him and fighting to get a chance to sink her teeth into his skin. Sam reached out and picked his gun up from the dirty floor of the woods, placing the end of it into her mouth and pulling that trigger. She was blasted off of him and just for good measure, Sam popped one more bullet into her chest, making sure her heart stopped and she turned back into a dead human. 

"Sam!" Dean's voice rang through the woods as another devilish snarl ripped through the night. Suddenly, Dean was screaming, begging Sam to get the beast off of him. "Sam! Sammy!!" The younger Winchester took off running toward the sound only to see a terrible blood trail leading him deeper into the forest. It was dark, and his vision wasn't adjusting quick enough, but he managed to catch up and the moment he saw the beast, it picked Dean up like a rag doll, and hoisted him high into the air. Dean wasn't struggling anymore, couldn't move, and immediately, Sam's heart sunk into the pit of his stomach. 

He aimed, and pulled the trigger, missing the beast's heart, and the creature laughed. "Oh, is this your big brother little human?" The wolf licked it's lips and cracked a wide grin. "You killed my brother with the first shot, and my sister moments ago. I wonder how you'll react when you lose yours. An eye for an eye." The wolf dragged it's claws down Dean's chest, ripping his flesh, and sending blood pooling into a puddle at his feet. Sam panicked, and grabbed Ruby's knife, aiming quickly and throwing it as hard as he could at the beast. With luck, the blade stuck directly into his chest, and within moments, it was squealing and writhing on the ground before it reverted into human form, and collapsed, dead on the ground. 

Dean however was unresponsive as Sam ran to him, scooping him up into his arms, seeing the blood gush from all over his brother's body. "Dean! Come on, wake up! Don't do this! Don't you even think about it!" No answer came from Dean, and as tears flooded Sam's eyes, he bowed his head and grabbed his phone, calling Bobby and Ellen to beg for their help. 

~~~

Four days later, Sam was still sitting in the hospital room, looking to his brother. Bobby and Ellen were there too for support, though Dean had yet to flinch since surgery. He had a few hundred stitches from his shoulder, all the way down his torso, multiple gashes to the head, and they had to reconstruct his knees. When he woke, he would need to learn to walk again, and though he would eventually return to fully functional physically, there was one thing that had the other's worried more than anything. There was a cover over Dean's eyes. They had been damaged as well via wolf claws during the struggle, and they were beyond saving. 

Ellen stepped over to Dean and adjusted his blanket, fluffing his pillow and taking a seat on the edge of his bed. "Come on now Winchester. Quit being a big baby and wake up already. You got your poor brother worried sick and Bobby ain't no better. We need you kid." 

A few more days passed and finally, Dean began to stir. A low rumble emitted from his throat, and Sam rushed over to his side. "Bobby! Ellen! Come quick!" Sam put his hand on Dean's arm and looked down at him. "Dean? Hey, can you hear me?" Dean's brow furrowed before he turned his head in Sam's direction and spoke hoarsely. 

"S-sammy?" Dean maneuvered to attempt to sit up until the nurse came in with Bobby and Ellen. 

"Woah, take it easy there cowboy. You aren't in any condition to be moving around on your own just yet. You don't want to rupture anything or rip open your stitches do you?" The woman was nice, an older broad, but she was helpful.

"What the hell happened to me? What do you people have on my head? I can't see a damn thing." Dean raised his hands to pull at the bandages covering his eyes, and got to them before the nurse could stop him. Dean opened his eyes and tried to look around the room, but nothing appeared other than pure darkness. Sam bit his lip and looked at Dean's face, sad to see the milky color that had over taken Dean's irises. They had a hue of green, but still, it was obvious of the condition. "Oh, funny Sammy but this is no time for practical jokes. Come on. Turn the lights on. I am not in the mood for games. My body is killing me." No one said a word.

Everyone exchanged glances before the nurse took Dean's vitals and began to tamper with his IV drip. "Mr. Winchester, you were involved in a very serious animal attack about a week ago. You've undergone extensive surgery, and really, it's a miracle you are even alive. Everything should return to normal if you do your physical therapy classes, but I am afraid we were unable to save your vision. The animal struck you in a way that made surgery unsuccessful."

Dean took a moment to listen, blinked his eyes over and over before he shook his head and chuckled. "Oh Sammy you are good. How much did you pay this poor woman to lie for you? Tell me this is some temporary hoodoo you pulled for a laugh."

"Dean, she isn't kidding. You almost died. You were ripped to ribbons and I think given the circumstances, you will be lucky to walk away from this with only your vision lost. It could be worse." Sam's voice was serious and Dean's expression went from lighthearted to angry almost instantly. 

"Your brother is right Dean. You could have been paralyzed, or needed organ transplants or even turned into a vegetable, if not dead. You should be thankful." Ellen tried to comfort him, but to no avail.

"Thankful?" Dean's voice was low and dark. His body felt like it was on fire, and he was not yet willing to accept this. "The last thing I ever saw was that fugly ass thing in the woods, and you want me to be thankful? No. You better believe the second I find Cas-" Dean stopped himself remembering the nurse was still in the room. "He'll know how to fix this..."

"Well Mr. Winchester, I put a little something into your IV to help with the pain. I'll have someone in here in a few hours to help you get up and try walking around a little. Sound okay?"

"Yeah fine lady." Dean snapped at her, though she still offered Sam and the others a smile before leaving the room. "Is she gone?"

"Yeah, Dean, she left, and you oughta be nicer to people who are trying to help you. They did just save your life after all. Show a little appreciation would ya?" Bobby half scolded him and Dean forced himself into a sitting upright position.

"Where the hell is Cas? Why isn't he here fixing this? Castiel, I pray you get your ass in here before you make me hunt you down and beat the blessings out of you!" Dean half prayed, half threatened the ceiling. The sound of wings filled the room, and the expression on Castiel's face was disgruntled to say the least. 

"I am here Dean. What do you want?"

"I want you to fix me!"

"I can't do that Dean. It was difficult enough in the emergency room to heal your injuries and keep your body from giving out. By rights you should have died in the forest. I may be an angel with healing abilities but this was too much, even for me. I can help to heal you faster over a shorter amount of time, but I am afraid there is nothing I can do about your vision. My condolences." Dean sighed heavily, placing his legs over the edge of his bed, moving slowly until his feet touched the cold linoleum floor. He moved his arms about the edge of the bed, feeling his way to the wall and snapping at Ellen when she attempted to help him. 

"I got it! I don't need help! I'll be fine! Just give me a minute." Ellen backed up and looked at Bobby who just shook his head with a gesture that spoke for him. 'Let him go. He will learn.' 

Dean made his way out the door, only stumbling a time or two, before he slipped out of his room and that was when it hit him. He could hear everything around him. The receptionist typing at the desk, the clicking of shoes on the floor a fair distance away, and even the sound of the faintly squeaking wheelchair being pushed down another hall. He wasn't sure where he was going, but he just needed out. A moment to himself to think, to cope, and try to accept what he couldn't change. 

~~~

After a few more days, Dean was magically healed enough to go home, thanks to Cas. The hospital discharged him, and since he refused to agree to go to any physical therapy classes, they agreed to send a specialist to Bobby's everyday instead. Dean didn't like this idea much, but Sam forced him to deal with it, pulling the 'oh do it for me' card. His first in home session had been alright, painful, but not too bad, and after the first few days the pain of it became more and more bearable. It wasn't until a few days later that another unexpected knock came to the door. 

Bobby opened the front door for you and half smiled. "Can I help you miss?" He figured you were there for the salvage yard but Sam came running up behind him. 

"Oh no, Bobby I called her here. She is a friend of mine. I thought she could help. Bobby this is Y/N, Y/N, this is Bobby, and Ellen is in the kitchen." You offered a smile to Bobby, and once he stepped back, you and Sam moved in for a great big hug. It had been years since you two had last seen one another, and how Sam managed to track you down, you had no idea. When you came off the hug, you were introduced to Ellen who was warm and welcoming, accepting a glass of wine and sitting with the others. 

"So Y/N, tell us a bit about yourself. Sam mighta told you about us but he didn't say a word about you. Boy has no manners." Ellen laughed, looking to you as you took a sip. 

"Oh, we went to Stanford together. We were pretty good friends for a few years then he vanished. I ended up landing a job as a case worker for DHS, helping out little kids in bad situations. After awhile I realized it wasn't what I wanted to do anymore. It broke my heart to see all the messed up things parents can do to their kids and get away with it...so I quit and I suppose I am still looking for my true calling. I mean I hunt from time to time but never anything serious."

Sam lit up at that and half smiled. "Do you remember back when I came banging on your dorm door, drunk out of my mind that one time?"

"Yeah! You were wearing nothing but your boxers and one sock, soaking wet from the rec pool, and told me there was a vampire trying to kill you with glitter. Needless to say, I let him into my dorm and made him put pants on and go to bed. He was wrecked." you laughed at the memory, happy to see Bobby and Ellen laughing too. After about an hour, there was still no sign of Dean, likely because he was moping in one of the upstairs bedrooms. 

You excused yourself to freshen up in the restroom when Bobby turned to Sam, speaking quickly and quietly. "Sam, what the hell? You called up some old flame now?! Is this really the time for that when your brother is on the verge of a breakdown?"

"Don't worry Bobby, I called her here to help. She isn't an old flame, just a friend. I think she can help Dean through this. She knows a lot of people who lost their vision and she helped them cope with it, so I asked her to do the same for Dean. Show him how to deal, you know?" 

When you returned, Sam escorted you up the stairs and knocked on one of the bedroom doors. "Dean? Hey can I come in?" Dean grunted at him, and Sam stepped in, allowing you to follow beside him. The elder Winchester had gotten into the habit of wearing sunglasses, afraid of what his eyes might look like, and not wishing to be made the butt of any jokes. "I brought a friend of mine over...she has some real experience in your situation, and I thought maybe you'd like a few pointers. Her name is Y/N, Y/N this is my brother Dean." The elder Winchester shifted in his chair to face Sam and yourself, unsure how to react. 

"I guess a few tips won't kill me. Bring it on sugar, let's get this over with." His attitude was still salty, hating to have to ask for help, but figuring this was alright as he hadn't asked for it. Sam nodded to you and left, closing the door, and giving you both a bit of space to see how this whole thing went along. 

"I'm happy to finally meet you Dean. Sam talked about you all the time back in school. You know...it isn't such a horrible thing, being blind I mean. It's hard at first, but once you get the hang of things, it's almost like the rest of you becomes superhuman." Your voice was soft and even, taking a seat in the chair across from him. He scoffed and shook his head, not quite ready to jump on the bandwagon of acceptance. 

"I don't want to be superhuman. I just want to go back to normal. I can't hunt like this."

"You can actually. Once you get into the swing of it, you can do just about anything you could before. Somethings you might even be able to do better. My dad was in an accident and he ended up going blind too. He did what you are doing. Pretending the world is in shambles and whatnot, but then, once he realized he was a better shot without his sight, he got confident. I helped him through and taught him how to do damn near everything, and you know what? He was one of the best hunters I had ever met. Lethal on a whole new level."

Dean waited for a moment, thinking about what you had said, wondering if he could bring himself to that type of a status. Could he be better than he was before? He wasn't sure, but the least he could do was try. He wasn't fully on board, but it had to beat moping around all day. What bothered him most was not being able to see faces. Here he sat, speaking to someone brand new that wanted nothing more than to help him, and he had no idea what she looked like. Not a bit. 

" Alright Y/N, if you think you can work miracles, who am I to stop you? Give it a shot I suppose."

~~~

Over the next few days, Dean had agreed to begin training with you. You took the time to teach him how to listen for the sounds he wouldn't normally hear. You began by setting up various jars, and tossing pebbles at them from afar to hear the 'ping' of the rock against the glass. When Dean heard it, he would turn, point his gun, and shoot, though at first, he couldn't hit a thing. As time pressed on he got better, able to shoot almost exactly the same place the rock met the glass, and taking out jars left and right. After that, you began the hand to hand combat, beginning to teach him how to know his surroundings. 

"Okay Dean, now that you have shooting down, you need to learn how to defend yourself when you are blindsided. Excuse the terminology." You giggled and he smirked, knife in hand, ready to go. "I am going to be as quiet as I can, then I will 'attack' you at random. Use your surroundings, listen for key things like footsteps, heartbeat, distance, and other attributes."

"Got it. Let's try." Dean seemed focused, listening intently to everything around You were both outside. The ground was hard as Bobby had cleared a few cars out of the way in the salvage yard for this purpose. No grass, no soft spots, just dirt, and a lot of empty space, followed by a surrounding of vehicles. Creeping forward slowly, you collided with Dean straight on, taking him to the ground. He did manage to flip you however, landing you on your back, while pointing the tip of the blade onto your shoulder. A small laugh came from your mouth as you watched how careful he was not to cut your skin.

"That was great, except that isn't my heart."

"Sorry. It's weird. We've been doing this for days and I still don't know one thing about you in regards to height or looks or anything. No wonder I was off base."

"That is good though. You won't know the physical appearance of a charging enemy most of the time either. You'll have to guess, and do a lot of listening. If you hold still and listen, can you tell me where my heart is at?" Dean took a moment to listen. Really tune in and listen. Within a few moments, the sound of your steadily beating heart met his ears, and he was able to reposition his knife to the correct location. "Bingo. See? You catch on fast." 

Dean got up off you and extended his hand to help you up. You took it and thanked him and ran the same drill a few times before the sun began to set. 

"Alright, I think that's good for today. Let's call it a day. Sam brought us drinks a bit ago." You led Dean to the porch and the two of you sat next to each other on the bench swing. You handed him his drink, and took one of your own, sipping the sweet alcohol and sighing deeply. 

"I didn't hurt you today, did I?" Dean asked, replaying the day in his head and how he might not have been as careful as he thought. 

"No, not at all. You were actually pretty good about that. I expected a nick here or there, but nothing. You did very well."

"Is the sun going down?" His tone got a bit somber then, knowing it had to be due to the fact that they always stopped at sunset, but was bothered by it for one reason or another today.

"Yeah, it is. The sky is kind of fiery orange and fades into yellow and pink hues. It's cloudy out and kind of looks like it might rain, so it isn't too spectacular."

"It sounds nice though...I didn't think I would miss something like that, but I kind of do." Dean took another drink from his glass and tilted his head up trying to picture the image before him. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure. Anything."

"I was just wondering if...I mean it's kind of an odd-"

"Dean, Y/N, dinner is on the table. Let's move it." Ellen's voice interrupted his question and before he could try and get it out, he put it aside, with a 'never mind' expression, and the two of you moved to go and eat. During dinner, Bobby and Ellen were curious about Dean's progress, and were just as impressed with him as you were. It had been two whole months since this thing began, and though it was a very difficult skill to learn, Dean was doing great. You had actually wished now that he wasn't, however. 

From the moment you both got up till the moment you said goodnight, your days were spend around the other, teaching and learning back and fourth. On the outside, Dean was this badass who didn't like to ask for help and was so used to being the strong one that he had forgotten that it was okay to need help sometimes. Underneath it all, in little moments, you could see just how vulnerable he was, worrying about weather or not Sam was in trouble considering Dean couldn't literally watch Sammy's back in a brawl. If anything happened to Sam, Dean would blame himself and say "if only I could have seen it maybe he wouldn't be hurt", and that was another large factor you found bothering him. 

That night, once you readied yourself for bed, you turned off the light and crawled into the sheets, only for your phone to light up a moment later. Dean had used his voice app to send you a vocal text, asking you to come into his room before you went to sleep. You rolled your eyes with a smile and got back up, heading to his room and slipping into the doorway. "Yes Dean?"

"Where is everyone? I don't hear a thing."

"Bobby took Ellen out for a movie at the drive in across town and Garth called Sam to see if he wanted to help him track down a wendigo."

"Oh...what about you? You didn't have anywhere else to be on a Friday night?"

"Nope. I figured you needed your rest and I could probably catch up on some too. I was going to ask if you wanted to listen to CD's or something, but I didn't want to offend you." Dean fell silent for a second before a bit of a smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. 

"Actually, that is the first time someone has asked me to do something with them that I can do without a problem. I can't read, I can't watch movies, or other stuff like that. So...thanks. I could listen to music for awhile if you still wanted to." You agreed, going and getting your iPod and placing it into the little home boom box. You put it on shuffle in the 80's rock playlist making Dean grin from ear to ear. He offered you a place on his bed, which you took, but left the lights off, figuring if he didn't have to see in order to enjoy the evening, neither did you. 

The two of you sat in silence for a while, listening to Guns n' Roses, Black Sabbath, and White Snake, singing the songs out loud from time to time until a slower song came on and Dean got up from his bed. "Come on." Was all he said at first, until he leaned forward, found your arm, and pulled you up by the hand. You seemed a bit confused at first, until he swung you into his arms the put the two of you in a good position to dance. From there, the two of you swayed back and fourth, and Dean decided to speak. "Usually I am not down for chick flick moments but I kind of like this. It's not a bad way to spend a Friday night."

"Not at all. I can't say I expected this is how my night would end, but I'll take it."

"End? You want to get rid of me that fast?" He teased you, causing a smile to play at your lips. 

"Not at all. I enjoy spending time with you. You might seem all calloused and hardcore on the outside but on the inside, I think you are really sweet." He didn't say anything at first, and when the song ended, the two of you sat back down on the edge of his bed. He waited a moment before he turned to you, somewhat struggling to find the right words to say. 

"Earlier, I wanted to ask you something...I was just wondering if maybe you would let me see you. I know it's kind of an awkward request..." You smiled again and agreed, the two of you scooting a little closer to the other. A bit nervously, Dean lifted his hand and traced his fingers across your cheek, moving back and sliding his fingers through your hair to measure the length. 

"My hair is YHC, in case you were wondering, and I have YEC colored eyes." Dean smiled gently, and nodded, moving his free hand to trace over the contures of your skin. Tingles played at your flesh while his fingertips danced across your shoulders and over your neck. You reached up and placed your hands on either side of his jawline, causing him to pause, and let the feeling of your fingers on his skin, sink in. He was memorizing you. By the tiny details, he was making sure that he would know by a single brush of the skin, who you were. 

"I like you Y/N." His voice was quiet, almost a whisper, and as his hands rested, fingers running through your hair, he leaned forward slowly, then paused, almost as if to ask for your permission before moving forward. You thought on it a moment, shocked to think that he would be interested in you this kind of way, but then again, the two of you did have a weird connection that other people couldn't understand. Hell, neither of you understood it yourselves, but it was there. You leaned forward, ever so slightly, resting your forehead against his, and nudging him a little with the tip of your nose. 

He took this as a sign that it was alright, and gently moved forward, bringing his lips to meet yours. He was reluctant at first, almost afraid to move along too quickly, but his gestures were so insanely perfect, that you couldn't help but melt to his touch. You brought your hands from his jawline to wrap your arms up over his neck, pulling him in a bit closer. He seemed to like this thought, placing his hands around your waist, and pulling you into his lap. Your lips were locked, and where it had been sweet at first, that sweetness was replaced with just a touch of hunger. 

He felt vulnerable with you, letting his walls down, and letting you into his more personal thoughts. A place Sam could never get to as much as he tried. He trusted you in ways he couldn't seem to trust other people, and though it took a few months, you were both in a place where you weren't sure exactly how to get along without having the other to back you up. As the minutes pressed on, the hunger grew a bit more fierce, until Dean broke the kiss with a bit of a shaky breath. 

"If I don't call this off right now...I don't know, I don't think I'll be able to help myself."

"Do you want to call it off?" You asked a bit coyly, not really wanting to stop either. 

"Not in the slightest." His reply was quick, taking no time to think about it before he scooped you up into one arm, and pulled you atop of himself, crashing your lips together again. The rest of the night was enveloped in a whirlwind of intimacy, of the best nature you could think of. Everything was heightened for him, every touch, every kiss, every movement, which made it all the better for you as well.


	2. Watch Out For Sammy...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean finally feels like he can take on a hunt, but will his lack of vision prove to be more difficult than he thought?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! Added due to popular demand! <3  
> You guys are fantastic! Thank you so much to everyone who has left me feedback!   
> I appreciate every single one of you!

Physical therapy had ended, and for Dean, that was a major relief. He was back to being one hundred percent, apart from his being blind of course. He had grown more comfortable with it however, and no longer felt the need to wear his sunglasses. You had helped him with that, convincing him that it wouldn't matter if people stared, because frankly, he couldn't see them staring anyway. He was actually growing more comfortable in his own skin, walking around with more confidence. He knew Bobby's place to a tee, and didn't really have to feel his way around the place anymore. Ellen made it easier for Dean to eat without needing to pick around his plate, putting the main course on the right, vegetables on the left, and dessert at the top center. His glass was always to the top right of his plate, with his fork and knife on the right as well, spoon on the left. 

He had grown accustomed to nearly everything now. He had his clothes all hung up in a closet, with help from you, placing them in order from his most favorite to least favorite, Jeans the same way after shirts, and boots in a line on the floor beneath them. For awhile, you thought for sure he would make a deal to get his vision back, but he resisted, and managed to pull through better than even he expected. Other things were more difficult for him, and some were just impossible. He spend a fair amount of time in the impala, just sitting in the driver's seat, both hands on the wheel. He would never be able to drive her again, and when that realization hit him, he didn't cope well. 

There were a few times that he asked you to get in and take him somewhere, just for a drive, just to hear her engine purr. You would oblige of course, feeling rather bad that his prized possession couldn't be used by him. Today, as he sat in the driver's seat, you approached him with an idea in mind. Though the two of you did sleep together a few weeks ago, nothing more had come from it, mostly because the others didn't know it had happened, and because Dean hadn't made another pass yet. The two of you were still as close as ever though, with no awkward moments, and no weird vibes. Almost like it never happened, but honestly, you thought about it a lot, and though you wanted to say something, you felt it best not to.

"Hey Dean. Having fun?" Your tone was happy as you asked, smiling as you leaned into the open window. 

"Not really...I just miss taking off and being on the road. Sammy has been on seven hunts in the last few weeks and I guess I am just getting cabin fever in the house is all."

"Well, do you want to drive? I can help you, if you want." Dean's face looked confused, but intrigued, turning his glance to you, knowing exactly where you were from the sound of your voice. 

"How are you going to do that?" With a smile, you opened the door and asked him to stay still. He did so and you crawled in, sitting in his lap, placing your legs between his, and resting your hands on his knees. 

"Start the engine." Dean turned the key, still unsure how this was going to help him drive, but followed your directions, figuring you hadn't done him wrong yet, so he could trust you. "Okay, you know Bobby's scrapyard layout. I want you to drive by memory. If you have to turn, I will signal by squeezing your knee. My pressure equals how hard you need to turn. Left knee, left turn, and vice versa. I know this won't work out on the road or anything, but a little is better than nothing right?" Dean smirked and nodded, hoping this would go as smoothly as you thought. 

He accelerated a bit, starting slow at first, doing the curvy lap around the salvage yard pretty well with your signals there to remind him. By the third lap or so, he picked up the speed, and still pulled it off perfectly. Once he had his timing down, he could tell right when he needed to turn given how fast he decided to go. He didn't even need you on his lap anymore after an hour or so of practice, but the moment you moved to give him free range, he took one hand off the wheel and wrapped it around your waist. 

"You are fine where you are. Makes me feel kind of badass to be literally driving blind with a pretty girl in my lap." He gave you a smirk and you didn't even know what to say at first. 

"Dean, how do you know if I am pretty or not? You can't even see me. For all you know I could have tribal ink tattooed all over my face and look like a djinn."

"It doesn't matter if you are actually pretty or not. I think you are regardless, and that's all that matters. Right?" You were speechless. Your whole life your mother had always said that you would find a guy someday that liked you for who you were, not just because of your pretty face. She didn't assume that guy would be blind of course, but considering Dean still liked you even though he had never 'seen' you, meant all that much more. Of course you assumed Dean was way out of your league what with his model-esque body, and flawless good looks, but here he was, happy as a clam to have you, the girl he seemed to have picked above anyone else. 

It was almost like a dream. To have someone like him care about you the way he did, without any superficial reasons behind it. The rest of your afternoon was filled with drifting around the scrapyard, laughing and singing too loud to the radio, almost making him forget about hunting all together. Almost.

It wasn't until the following morning when Sam's phone rang that everything changed. 

"Hello? Yeah, this is Sam...oh...are you sure? Alright...okay, just hang tight, I am on my way. Thanks. Bye." You, Ellen, Bobby, and Dean, all looked to Sam, waiting for him to give details on the call. "That was some woman named Mandy. Some old friend of Dad's I guess. She said she has a vengeful spirit in her house and was told to call me by Garth. He is hung up on a Phistaco case."

"Well let's get geared up then. Looks like we got a case." Dean said this as he got up from the table, heading toward the steps to his room before turning. "What are you all so quiet for? Come on Sammy, we gotta git if we are gonna get this thing." 

"Dean...are you sure you want to do this? I mean...you haven't really been on a case since the accident." Sam sounded concerned, but Dean's expression didn't seem to care. He was more irritated than anything, and his facial features showed it. 

"So what are you saying Sam? Huh? That I am not allowed to ever go on a case again because of it? Am I somehow magically inferior just because I can't use my eyes to know what is going on around me? What? You are the only one allowed to go out and do our job?" Dean was defensive, offended, and rather upset by this idea, and Sam got to his feet to confront his brother. 

"Of course not Dean, I am just saying...maybe you aren't ready yet. It's only been a few months, and you know how these cases can be. You can't listen for a heartbeat on something that doesn't have one. It is going to be challenging."

"Every damn thing is challenging Sam, but I am dealing with it! Just like I always freakin' do! I am so sick of sitting around here doing nothing while you gallivant around living life as if nothing happened. How about you stay here while I go out, and we'll blindfold you so you know how it feels for once. You haven't asked me to do anything anywhere near you since this happened and it's pure crap! It isn't contagious!"

"Dean I know that, I am just worried about you being on a case, that's all."

"Well stop worrying about me. I am fine!" Dean and Sam were nearly chest to chest in their argument, causing you to get up and step between them. 

"Alright, that is enough. Both of you. Sam, just go get the car ready. Dean, upstairs. Go." Dean growled low in his throat before he turned and headed up the steps. You turned to Sam and gave him a sad look. "I am going to talk to him, but I am not promising anything. If he wants to go then I think he has the right to make that choice. If that is the case, I am coming too. Okay?" Sam just nodded in agreement and headed toward the impala while you turned and closed Dean's door behind you. 

He was pulling on his boots, lacing them up without a problem, and you stepped in, sitting beside him. This was the first time since your romantic evening that you had been in there, though it wasn't awkward, but you missed it.

"Dean?"

"What?" He asked dryly, figuring you were going to side with Sam and try to talk him out of going. 

"I am okay with you going if you want to. I just want you remember that your first case back is going to be shaky is all. I know that once you set your mind to something, you go through with it, and I just want to make sure you are sure that you want to do this. If so, I also want you to be aware that I'll be coming with you to be your back up. Like an extra set of eyes for you. It is a spirit after all. I just want you to know I got your back, no matter what your decision is. If you decide not to, we can always order take out, listen to music, and sit out on the hood of the car or something. It's up to you. Just tell me what you want, and I'll back you up."

Dean was silent for a long moment, thinking on your words, half unable to believe what you had said. It wasn't often someone backed him 'no matter what', and though he really liked the idea of the two of you staying here, he felt the hunt was something he really needed to do, mostly just to prove to himself he could still do it. 

"I want to go on the case. I have to know that I can do it. I just have to know. It's stupid, and I don't want to explain it, but I just need to. Okay?"

"I understand. Sam is getting the car ready now. I'll only be a minute to get dressed, then we can go." You turned to head to your room, but Dean caught your hand and pulled you back, getting to his feet and tilting his 'gaze' down to you. 

"Thank you."

"What for?" Your tone was bemused. You hadn't done anything yet. What was he thanking you for?

"Being around for me. You didn't have to stick around, teach me how to get by, or back me up on this case, but you did, and I appreciate it. A lot. I don't know why you do it, but thank you. Really." You smiled, leaning up on your tiptoes, and planting a kiss on his cheek before turning away and heading to your room. 

~~~

Dean demanded the passenger's seat, and though you were happy to ride in the back, Sam insisted you drive. Dean gave the keys to you, so off you went, following the GPS until an hour or so later when the destination had been reached. The three of you approached the door, and Sam rang the bell. A woman answered, older, in her fifties at least, breathing a sigh of relief. 

"Oh thank the high angels above! Sam and Dean Winchester?!"

"The very same!" Dean said in a rather chipper manner, holding his sawed off shotgun full of salt rounds in one hand, resting it on his shoulder with a smirk. 

"John said if I ever needed help that I needed to contact the two of you. I already spoke to another hunter, and he said it was a vengeful spirit. I don't know if that could be true though. Please come inside." The woman allowed the three of you entry, and the lot of you sat down in the living room. Dean refused to use the 'blind people walking stick' as he so lamely put it, so you took his arm with your own, and led him slowly behind Sam. Once everyone was seated, Mandy turned her gaze to Sam and began to explain. "My husband died two years ago from a car accident. I thought I could feel his presence here since, but I took comfort in it. Kind of like a guardian angel of mine or something."

"Alright, so your husband..."

"Henry." The woman told him.

"Henry, was he upset about anything? Were the two of you at odds at all before his passing?" Sam asked a bit softly, keeping the touchy subject candid. 

"No, not at all! We were happily married thirty years then. Never any of that fooling around business you see these young things doing nowadays. No real fights. Disagreements sure, who doesn't, but no. We were happy."

"What kind of occurrences have been going on lately Mrs. Abbot?" Dean asked this question and the woman glanced at him, noticing his glassed over eyes for the first time. 

"Oh...I-uhm...well, things have been breaking all over the house without reason. The lights flicker all over the place and the electrician says there is no explaining it. Then yesterday, I was attacked by something I couldn't see. It left these marks on me." Mandy rolled up her sleeves to reveal long scratches down the lengths of her arms, almost as if someone had been pulling on her and raking their nails along her skin. You turned and mumbled quietly to Dean to explain what it looked like, and Dean leaned forward. 

"May I?" His tone was still a bit cocky, but Mandy was leery. Dean sensed the hesitation and right then, you jumped the gun to his aid. 

"Dean was in an accident a while back and lost his sight Mrs. Abbot, but there is no need to worry. He gets the job done, he just has to go about it a different way. That's all." Immediately, Mandy felt more comfortable and gave her arm up to Dean, letting him trace his fingers over the scratches. Dean let go, stood up straight, and closed his eyes. He listened carefully, then turned in Sam's direction. 

"It's in the attic. Two floors up. Top left corner. Connected to an object. Something small. It's strong though. Not angry...but mourning. That's it." You couldn't help but smile as Sam and Mandy's jaws dropped, unable to believe Dean could tell all that just by listening, and channeling his other senses. 

"Mourning? So that was why he stayed." You thought out loud and Dean nodded to you, confirming what you now knew.

"What? Why? I don't think I understand."

"Mrs. Abbot, Henry is mourning, not because he is dead, but because he isn't with you. He doesn't want to leave you here all alone in this world. He loves you too much. The problem with that is after so long of following you around, missing you, watching over you while you just looked right through him, he became so depressed that his soul turned against him. It happens to all who skip out on their reapers. They let the sadness take over and go dark side."

Mandy looked to the floor before she wept a bit, then looked up at Sam and Dean. "Put him to rest...please."

"Did he have something he liked to keep on him? Something personal that maybe you kept?" Mandy nodded to Dean, taking a pocket watch from around her neck. It was small, and had his name engraved on the inside, looking pretty tattered, as if the man had owned it for a great many years. The moment she handed it to Sam, all the lights went out, and the air shifted, cold as ice. Dean didn't need told what had happened, loading his gun and handing it to Sam, and pulling a short iron rod from his inner jacket. The ghost of Henry materialized before the four of you, and looked wicked, hissing loudly in a horrid shriek. 

"Sammy! Fireplace! Burn the watch!" Dean called to his brother, taking a swing at the spirit and making it dematerialize for a moment. Sam darted for the fireplace, Mandy ran and hid in the corner, terrified out of her mind, and you stood back to back with Dean, spinning in a slow circle. He was listening intently while your eyes darted around the room. "Get down!"

Without hesitation, you dropped to the floor, and Dean turned to jab the spirit directly in the torso. "It isn't making itself visible all the time. You guys can't see it. Son. Of. A. Bitch." Dean could tell by the way you hadn't reacted with it directly in front of you. It was true, you hadn't seen a thing until Dean hit it with the iron. 

Dean froze all of a sudden, grabbing your arm and pushing you protectively behind him, backing up to the wall. "Shit..." He muttered, getting a firm grip on the iron. "Stay behind me...he isn't the only vengeful spirit in here. Not by a long shot. We might be in trouble..." With that said, Henry materialized, with at least forty more wicked beings at his sides.


	3. It Was An Accident...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When everything goes wrong, how can Dean pick up the pieces of his now shattered life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am trying to spice things up a bit, add more drama and feels, so I hope this chapter is sufficient to fill everyone's interest!

The room was full. Spirits were everywhere, materializing right before your eyes. Sam was near the fireplace, trying to burn the pocket watch, but even after it burned, not a single thing changed. Sam's expression suggested panic, but he remained speechless for the time being. Poor Mandy was in tears, cowering in the corner of the room, while you were tucked protectively behind Dean, the blind man you had come to adore, and whom had come to adore you, though neither of you had said it, you both knew it was there. Dean had the shotgun in his free hand, but feared to shoot, not wanting to hit anyone in a crossfire. You were all surrounded. No way out. Nowhere to go. 

Sam took hold of the iron fire poker behind him and swung hard, making a path for himself as the spirits hissed and shrieked in a very high pitch. He bolted into the kitchen, flinging open cupboards haphazardly until finally his eyes landed on the salt. He grabbed the canister and ran back to the living room, pouring some into his hand and flinging it in Mandy's direction first. The moment he could get to her, he picked the older woman up and headed for the door. He made it alright, but turned just before getting out to see his older brother, frozen in place. 

Dean didn't know what to do. He stood there, almost shell shocked, as if he had completely forgotten everything John had ever taught him. His breathing was shoddy as his hands shook, and Sam couldn't believe his eyes. The spirits were beginning to close in on him, smashing everything in sight. It looked like a tornado was running through the place with broken picture frames, furniture, vases, everything, just breaking and flying everywhere. 

"Dean! Dean! Snap out of it! Dean!" Sam tried to call out to his brother, but Dean wasn't moving. As if he couldn't even hear him. You took hold of Dean's shoulder and tugged a bit, trying to bring him back to reality. 

"Dean! Hey! Move! Dean you have to move!" Your voice cracked a bit, unarmed, and completely outnumbered. Before another word could slip from your mouth, a wicked spirit took hold of the elder Winchester, ripping the two of you apart, and tossed him across the room. He hit hard against the banister at the bottom of the staircase, while you hit the wall behind you, both groaning upon impact. "Dean! Get up! Get to the door!" 

You and Sam were both in a panic. The younger Winchester set Mandy down outside, then bolted back in, hesitating for a moment, trying to decide which of you to save first. You didn't have much time to waste, but before you could call out to Sam, another spirit picked you up by the throat, while a few more headed for Dean, lifting him into the air as well. Sam was tossing Salt all over the place, trying to get enough space, ending up at Dean first. He freed him from the spirits, nearly having to empty the entire canister, and dragging him out. You pulled a small dagger from your boot, whipping it across the spirit's throat, and causing it to drop you with a hiss. The moment Sam and Dean got out the door, the fireplace roared to life, sending flames out of the space like hellfire. 

The living room went into a full blaze in a few seconds flat, and the spirits cackled with a sick and twisted pleasure. You were trapped in a ring of flames, no way in, no way out. Everyone was covered in cuts and bruises from the flying debris, but nothing serious just yet had occurred injury wise. Dean was in some sort of trance, unable to respond to anyone. Mandy was a few minutes from a full on stroke, and Sam trying his best to get to you, though the flames were proving troublesome. The ring you were standing in was getting smaller and smaller by the moment, no doubt giving both boys some pretty gruesome flashbacks, considering Mary and Jess.

"Foolish beings you are..." The voice of Many's husband croaked out. You turned your eyes to him and he flashed you a toothy smile. "Thinking you can just walk into any situation and come out the heroes. I hate to burst your bubble, but the good guys don't always win. You had your assumptions all wrong this whole time. This isn't vengeful spirits you are dealing with." Suddenly, every single spirit in the room began to cackle as their eyes flashed black. Demons? Possessing spirits? How?!

Sam began to call out the Latin exorcism, but it only made the beings cackle louder. "Oh little baby Winchester. How can you exorcize us out of a meatsuit, when there is no meatsuit involved, nor demons for that matter? We've evolved, and you, as well as all the other hunters, are in a whole new world of trouble...we are a whole new kind of monster." The circle was getting smaller, the debris was flying around faster, knocking into you left and right. 

"Y/N! No! Don't hurt her!" You had been expecting Dean's voice to say those words, but it wasn't. It was Sam, and he was making his way back into the house to save you. The leader of these beasts snapped his fingers and all of a sudden, Dean came back to reality, and shook his head from the trance. 

"Y/N? Y/N! Where is she!? What happened!? Sammy!? Sam!" Dean didn't feel either of you anywhere near him as he desperately felt around for something or someone familiar, to no avail. Sam on the other hand, ignored Dean completely, turning his attention to the beast before him. 

"I don't give a damn what you are. You will not take her life."

"Maybe not her's alone. She is dying now. The question is...would you be willing to die in attempts to save her Sam Winchester? You knew her first, spent a few years with her in college. Is it possible you've grown jealous of big brother swooping in and stealing the girl, again? Did you repress your emotions for the girl because you felt bad for your blinded brother? Thought it was wrong to keep her for yourself because you knew Dean wouldn't have it so easy anymore with women? You never meant for him to love her. You never wanted big brother to take your place in her heart." A vase whipped by you, shattering against the wall, a few large pieces crashing against your skin. The oxygen was leaving at a rapid rate, and you crumbled to your knees, finding it extremely difficult to breathe. 

The whirlwind stopped mid air. The flames froze in place. Almost as if the monster had frozen time itself with a flick of his wrist. You maneuvered back to your feet, sucking in the oxygen back into your lungs while it was available. "What about you missy? You jumped when Sammy called you after all this time, jumped at the chance to see him, did you not? You cared for him back in school, but that other girl stood in your way. You may have developed feelings for Dean, but did you ever _really_ get over Sam? Come on. Time for the truth. He was your first love after all, unrequited of course, but still." This creature had abilities. He was able to get inside people's minds. Read their thoughts, see their memories, and only God knew what else. Your heart raced. Dammit. 

The beast smirked and cackled once more, turning his gaze to both the Winchester boys. "You see!? Now even she has no idea what to think or how to feel! She doesn't know what she wants, much like the both of you. So allow me to do you both a favor, and get rid of the problem!" With another flick of his wrist, the monstrosity brought the storm back into full swing, and then, in the whirlwind of debris and flames, a kitchen chair collided with your head, right across your face, sending you crashing to the floor. 

Your vision hazed, you choked, trying to breathe, and a sticky warm liquid spilled lazily down your face as you struggled to get up, but couldn't. Everything was beginning to go dark. You tried to force your eyes to stay open, seeing nothing but flames. Darkness. The sound of Sam calling out for you. A flash of light. Opening your eyes again, you saw Sam's face, his arms scooping you up close to his chest. Darkness. An unfamiliar voice in a hazy slur. Another flash of light. Dean's voice. Then finally, a cool breeze touching your skin, before total darkness ensued. 

~~~

Your eyes fluttered open slowly. The sound of a consistent beeping rang in your ears, and immediately you knew you had to be in a hospital. Your entire body was sore, and the moment your eyes focused, you only confirmed what you had already figured. You had the room to yourself, no other patients, and to your surprise, no one at your bedside. You were alone, your skin was cold, and it hurt to even move. Looking yourself over as best you could, you didn't see anything that would be considered permanent damage, then, just to be sure, you recited your name and birth date in your head, checking for any type of memory loss. 

You seemed to be fine mentally, but looking around and seeing no one, you thought back to the case. Had what that monster said hit both Dean and Sam so hard that they had dumped you off in some hospital and taken off? No, they wouldn't do that...would they? Tears fell from your eyes and rolled slowly down your cheeks, suddenly afraid of what might have happened. You were scared. Waking up in an unfamiliar place, totally alone, lost with so many questions. A wave of panic washed over you, and you moved to try and get out of the bed. You had to find someone, but your legs gave out and you hit the linoleum. 

Reaching back for your bed, you couldn't pull yourself up, so you pulled on the sheets until the remote fell onto the floor beside you, hitting the emergency button over and over until a nurse rushed in moments later. Straight away you began to ask her questions while the tears streamed down your face uncontrollably. "Where am I?! What happened?! Where is everyone?!" The nurse knelt beside you, trying to calm you by rubbing your shoulder and making a less than comforting 'shh' sound. 

"You are in South Dakota sweetheart. You were involved in a house fire and when the stove blew up you were caught up in the rubble. A young man pulled you out before too much damage was done. Your family is here, they are just in the waiting area. Let's get you situated before we bring them in okay?" The nurse was trying to be helpful, but hearing they were so close, you had to see it for yourself. You had to know that they were alright. 

"Dean! Sam! Guys! Where are you!?" You called out as loud as your voice would let you. The nurse tried to get you to your feet, but your legs refused to cooperate, making things all the more difficult. All of a sudden, Dean came storming through the doorway, pausing near the frame, trying to listen to be sure he had heard what he thought he heard. "Dean! Dean are you okay?!" Dean got to your bedside as quick as he could, hearing your voice coming from the floor and glaring in the direction of the nurse.

"She fell out of her bed?! What the hell kind of hospital is this?!" The elder Winchester felt for the bed, adjusting the sheets and blankets while measuring exactly where it was. He picked you up and tried to place you back in your bed, but you had tossed your arms around his neck, and held onto him tightly, crying into his shoulder. He sat on the edge of your bed, holding you as tightly as he could without upsetting your injuries. He smoothed your hair over with one hand, making a much more comforting 'shh' than the nurse had. 

Dean waited until you leaned back first, then moved your hair from your face, drying your tears with his thumbs gently. "It's okay, you're okay, everything is going to be alright Y/N. Just breathe..." Dean's voice sounded a little broken just then, almost as if he was saying it to convince himself rather than you. You took a moment to catch your breath, looking over Dean's face, seeing a few cuts here and there, but overall he really seemed okay, which was a relief. Your eyes flicked up over Dean's shoulder, and in the doorway, you saw nothing. Your heart sank all over again, and you turned your eyes back to Dean. 

"Where is Sam? Dean, what happened to Sam?!" The last thing you remembered was the wall of fire between the two of you, then you blacked out for a short time, and when you came somewhat back to, you had still been in the circle, but suddenly Sam had been in that circle with you. That, the slurry voices, and those flashes of light. Nothing more. You took Dean's face into your hands, having to prompt him for the answer. His expression looked guilty before his bass voice spoke softly. "It was an accident...I shouldn't have frozen up like that. If I hadn't...Sammy, he wouldn't have been..."

"Wouldn't have been what Dean?! Where is he?!" Hot tears filled your eyes again, thinking the worst right off the bat. 

"Y/N?"

Your eyes turned to the doorway and to your poor heart's relief, there stood Sam. He was wearing scrubs, likely because the hospital gowns weren't working for him, and his arms were all bandaged up. His lip had been split open, as well as his eyebrow, not to mention the gnarly bruising he was sporting. You smiled, relieved he was okay, gesturing for him to move toward you, hugging him tightly once he was close enough. "Sam? What happened? Are you alright?" The younger Winchester smiled back and nodded reassuringly before answering. 

"Yeah, I am good. You gave us a bit of a scare though. The doctors were afraid you were going to go comatose on us. We can explain things later...for now, let's just be happy that everyone made it out alright." Sam glanced at Dean before he backed up and said he needed to call Bobby who had just left for a coffee run. Once Sam disappeared, you looked to Dean who was still sitting on the edge of your bed. He looked as though he was in deep thought, turning his attention back to you the moment you placed your hand over the top of his. 

"Talk to me." You spoke gently, knowing he was repressing something, and that something bad must have happened after you had blacked out. "Dean?"

"None of that would have happened if I had just done what I was supposed to do. I was fine at first, but then...it was like I had no idea what to do and I second guessed myself. Then those things got into my head and it was like they shut me down from the inside. I could barely move. I just stood there like an idiot. I let them hurt Sammy...I let them hurt you...and I can't believe I let that happen."

"Dean, that isn't your fault. You can't blame yourself for what happened. No one could have been prepared for what we went through. You did the best you could and we are all still alive. I think that's a win, don't you?"

"For Cas maybe. He showed up out of nowhere and saved you and Sam. He got rid of the monsters long enough for us to get out, put out the flames, and that was what hit me the worst I think..."

"What?" You prompted him, having no idea why his angel friend saving the day would hurt him at all. He should be happy and thankful right?

"When Cas put out the flames, you and Sammy were on the floor. Both passed out cold. You were wrapped up in his arms and he had you almost totally covered. He nearly scorched himself to death to keep you safe, and it should have been me. Difference is, even if I hadn't been messed up by those spirits, I still couldn't have gotten to you like he did. Everything around us had shifted and it would have taken forever for me to feel my way to where you were, let alone get through the flames alive, or in time to even try to help you. I was damn useless to you in that whole situation, and Sam had to pay the price for it." 

Dean hung his head, and your heart nearly split in two. Sam had almost died to save you, and Dean was a wreck because he knew it should have been he himself making that move. Even you had expected it to be Dean in the moment, during the chaos. You wanted it to be Dean, but it wasn't, because of his 'disadvantage'. 

"Then all that stuff that creep said about you and Sam...I just think maybe he would be better for you in the end. He can give you more than I can. I mean I didn't know about the two of you or what your past looked like, but even if there wasn't one, I know you'd be better off with him." Tears filled your eyes. You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Had Dean just given up? Did he really think that lowly of himself that he didn't think he deserved to be happy too? You were speechless as new tears surfaced and slipped over your cheeks. Dean leaned forward and placed a kiss on your forehead before he slipped through your hands and walked out, wiping away tears of his own. 

As quickly as he had been there, that was how fast he had vanished, and a sudden emptiness welled up in your chest. You wanted to get out of bed again, but knew you'd end up on the floor, so instead you called out to him, but he didn't turn back. You pulled up your knees and hugged them to you, sobbing into them harder than you were sure you had ever wept before. The two of you still had never said anything, but you both could feel it, you both knew it was there, yet here he was, doing what was 'right', instead of hanging onto what he wanted. He was a selfless person, just maybe a bit too selfless. 

Sam knocked on your door a few minutes later, cocking a brow and entering when you muttered he could. 

"Woah, what's wrong? Where is Dean?" He asked this, pulling up a chair beside your bed, and touching your shoulder. 

"Gone."

"Gone? What do you mean 'gone'? Where did he go?"

"Don't know...he just...he just left."

"Did he say why? Did something happen?" Sam sounded genuinely concerned, wondering what could possibly have Dean so upset that he would just take off without saying anything to anyone.

"He hates himself Sam. He always has and now it's worse. He feels guilty because he couldn't save me like you did back there. Even if he had tried to...he physically couldn't have done it. Then after what that monster said about us..." You let your sentence trail off, half wondering what Sam had to say. 

"Yeah...listen, about that...I had no idea back then. I didn't know that you felt that way about me."

"I didn't want you to know I did. You had Jess. I wasn't going to try and ruin that. You guys were perfect for each other, and I was fine being the friend. I loved you back then, sure, and yeah, I though maybe you would see me as more than that when I agreed to come help your brother, but it didn't work out that way."

"No...I guess it didn't..." Sam's voice began to trail a bit, looking to his hands then to the floor. "I mean I wasn't expecting you to hit it off with Dean so well, but...I don't know what I was expecting I guess."

"I wasn't expecting to hit it off with him either. Honestly I thought I was going to walk through that door, and like some stupid fairytale, you would realize that you had felt the same way about me the whole time, but you didn't see it till now...I guess we both changed is all. It isn't a bad thing. I came here expecting to still be in love with you, and it turned out that...we just...don't. I mean you never did, which is fine, but I guess I was able to get over it. It took forever, but I did." You kept your voice quiet, really just letting all your feelings come out, because the more you thought on them, the easier they were to say. 

"That's good. I mean, I don't know what is going on with you and Dean, but everyone kind of thought there was something there. Ellen and Bobby even see it."

"For the longest time I thought I would never be happy with someone. I dated guys from time to time but they always turned out to be scumbags or heart breakers. So I stopped looking. Nothing was working out, you were gone, and I was tired of being hurt. Then you called and I thought finally Fate had smiled at me. Turns out she did, just in a different way. One I wasn't expecting. I know Dean isn't perfect, hell I'll be the first one to say he is damn far from it, but I can't even begin to describe what it's like when we are around each other...I think that is why I never told him. I just didn't know how, and now..." You bit your lip, unable to finish your sentence. Sam gave you a friendly hug with a half smile before he helped you out of your bed and got you to stand up on your own two feet.

"You need to find him. You need to tell him how you feel, no matter what it sounds like when it comes out. You both owe it to yourselves, and to each other, to get all the cards out on the table and sort this out. I'll bet you he is down at the bar a few blocks over. Let's get you there, okay?" You looked up at Sam, unable to believe what he was suggesting you do, but thankful that he was supporting you. He was still perfect as ever, but after meeting Dean, and thinking on the time spent with him, there wasn't a shadow of doubt in your mind of which one you held closer to your heart. 

You got dressed slowly, still very sore from the case, but was in such a rush you decided to leave the moment you buttoned your jeans, wearing a tee shirt, and a hoodie. You managed to sneak your way out the front door without an issue, stepping outside, and into the rain that was falling. You made your way down to the shoddy bar, stepping inside and taking a moment to search the crowd, not seeing the one face you were searching for. You walked almost seventeen blocks and searched through eight bars, and finally on the ninth try, there he was.

Sitting alone at the bar with a beer in his hand, Dean just looked so broken, and seeing his face now made knots well up in your stomach. Doubt reared it's ugly head, and before you managed to get to him, you stopped, turned on your heel, and walked out of the bar feeling completely defeated. On the way there, you had known exactly what you were going to say, and now? Nothing. Instead, you sat on the end of a dock, looking out at the pretty lake before you, watching as the light raindrops pattered into the water softly. 

By now, the rain had you pretty well drenched, but you paid no mind, wondering what to do. 

Meanwhile, back at the hospital, Sam had managed to sneak out too, and found Dean shortly after you had left. Sam, however, approached Dean and spun him around. 

"Hey, did Y/N come talk to you yet? Have you seen her?" Dean furrowed his brow and shook his head. 

"No. Was she supposed to? I haven't seen her since earlier in her room."

"She left like three hours ago to come find you. What the hell is up with you anyway? You haven't been yourself in a while..." Sam's voice trailed off and Dean shot him a look. He had only had two and a half beers, and was in no way, drunk enough to deal with Sam's sass. 

"I am fine Sammy. I already told you. I've told you a million times. How many times do you need to hear it?"

"As many as it takes for you to tell me the truth Dean!"

"You want to know the truth?! Fine, here it is! I feel bad over what happened to you, not just the other day, but every day I failed you before that! I feel guilty over every rotten thing in my life that I've done, thinking it was the right thing to do! On top of that, I am bothered by the fact that you have avoided me ever since I went blind, and I don't know what the hell I did for you to shun me like that when I needed you!"

"Shun you?! You think I shunned you?! Why, because I went on a few jobs without you, or hung out a few times with Garth?! Come on, are you kidding me?! I haven't avoided you at all. It isn't my fault you shut yourself in your room for weeks at a time since you went blind!" Dean got to his feet, nearly breaking his beer bottle as he slammed the bottom on the counter and got into Sam's face. 

"You have barely spoken to me since it happened, and you damn well know it. Bobby and Ellen even noticed and asked me what I did to piss you off so bad! Then, you went out and got this sweet girl to take your place because you couldn't stand the idea of being around me for more than fifteen minutes!" Sam stood up too, a bit taller than Dean, glaring at him hard, even though he couldn't see it. "Don't you dare give me that look Sammy, I know what face you are making right now! What are you all upset for anyway?! You don't have a good reason right now!" It was then the bartender kicked them both out, and made them take it to the street.

"Like hell I don't! I walked in on one of my best friends in tears because my douche bag brother walked out on her and vanished! She didn't deserve that and you know it! She is worried sick about you and wandering around trying to find you when she should be laid up in the hospital!"

"I know she didn't but she is better off with you! You two could quit the life, right here, right now, and you could both go and live happily ever after like you always wanted! I don't get the fairytale! I know that, but you could!"

"No Dean! It's time you helped yourself. Be selfish for once in your life! Stop worrying about everyone else for a split second! You love her don't you?!" Dean bit his lip and tilted his face downward, as if looking to the ground. "I know you do, and I don't care what you say to me about it, but you need to tell Y/N. She is good for you, don't you get that?"

"Yeah...but what about you? Ellen told me about the picture you have in your wallet. The one of you and Y/N from college that looks like it's been in there since the second it was developed. I have connections too, and I got a hold of another one of your college buddies. Turns out not everything was peaches and cream with you and Jess huh? How many times did you two fight about Y/N? How often was Jess throwing a fit because you were spending all your time with Y/N, and she thought you were so 'madly in love with her' but was 'held back by being with Jess'?" 

Sam clenched his fist and swung hard, knocking Dean right in his jaw for saying that. 

"You had no business doing that. It was a long time ago, and things are different now! Y/N and I already talked about it! She doesn't care about me like she did before because she met you! She wants you, and that is why she is out here in the rain, in the middle of the night, searching for you! I was kicked to the curb because I didn't act when I should have, and you know what? I am shockingly okay with it because when you two are around the other, you are _both_ happy! I am fine as long as you two are being honest. So shut your damn face about me, help me find her, and just talk to her!"

Dean thought for a moment, rubbing at his jaw. Sam was right, Dean crossed a line, but he tended to do that, so it wasn't that shocking, was it? 

"Fine. I am going to find her, and I am going to say something to her that I have never told another woman, mom aside, in my entire life, but once I do, there is no taking it back. There is no taking her back away from me if I can manage to fix this mess I screwed myself into. You hear me? This is me making a decision, based off your decision. Agreed?"

"Yes Dean. Now please. Find her. Tell her. Just trust your instinct. It'll speak for you, I promise." Sam moved forward and hugged Dean before watching him go, using the sounds and smells around him to know about where he was. Sam shoved his hands into his pockets and began to walk as well, but before either of them could get far, Cas showed up and grabbed Dean's arm, dragging him back to Sam. 

"I am glad I found you both together. We have a situation afoot. It's Y/N. She was walking around near the lake by herself and I managed to track her. I am unsure how to put things gently, but basically she has been kidnapped, and the worst news is you'll never believe who has her..." There was a long pause, Castiel not wanting to tell the boys and upset them. Dean grew impatient and instantly worried, struggling through the silence, not knowing anyone's expressions. 

"Well?! Out with it Cas! Don't leave us on a cliffhanger!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please please please comment below and let me know your thoughts!  
> I love to hear what you all think, and I adore your suggestions and requests!  
> Another chapter mayhaps?? <3


	4. A Deal Is A Deal...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader was kidnapped, and has a decision to make...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update: Meh.

You were in a haze. The last thing you had remembered was standing on a dock near a lake at the edge of town. It had been quiet, peaceful, and you were safe, at least, you thought you had been. Everything went dark suddenly, and you had no idea why. There was no pain, thankfully, but also, no answer to the burning questions in your head. 'Where am I?' 'What happened?' 

As you came to, you looked about the room to find yourself in some kind of lavish study. Books adorned the walls with a burning fireplace at the center of the far wall, comfortable furniture accented the crimson paint of the room, and small trinkets were littered carefully about the place. It was comforting in a sense, until the voice near you broke the silence. 

"Hello darling. Have a good nap, did you?" Crowley stood before you, half leaned against a desk, brandy in one hand, and the other folded beneath the first, You had never met face to face before, but Dean had spoken of him before, enough for you to know who he was by the accent alone. Surprisingly, he had shackles about his ankles and wrists, and made no move to come near you. 

"What? What happened? I don't understand..." You looked about the room to see no one else, then down to your own wrists. No restraints, nothing to panic over, at least for a moment. Crowley snickered in his gruff undertone, then took a sip of the drink in hand. 

"I bet you don't love. To be honest, I wasn't expecting this either, but here we are. Give it a bit of time sweetheart, he'll be back."

"Who?! What is going on?!" 

"Don't get emotional dear. If you show your weaknesses, he will be sure to play off them. If you intend to make it out of here, you need to asses the situation and always look for a loophole. You are here, not because he wants you, but because you are a pawn. He is after the same thing he has always been after, and he knows he can use you as leverage. I would have done the same bloody thing if it were me."

"Why are you trying to help me? Dean said you weren't to be trusted for anything."

"Oh, now I am hurt. Squirrel and I go way back! I thought we were besties! Ah, well, sticks and stones. He will change his tune when I get you all out of this mess. Not for you or them of course, but fact is, I need the three of you alive and out of harms way if I am to use you later." Crowley gave a devilish grin and sipped at his brandy once more, and before you could mutter another syllable, the door opened.

A man stepped through the threshold, looking at you with a kind gaze. You didn't recognize him, though your mind raced for details that Dean may have given you prior to now. This man had shaggy blond hair, pretty eyes, and was somewhat tall. His skin, however, though it may have been smooth at one point, looked as though it had been burned and broken in several places. 

"Ms. Y/N, glad to see you are finally awake. I've been anxious to meet the Winchester's latest pet. From what I hear, you are quite the little gem to them, no?" His voice was like liquid silver, comforting in a sense, but held danger in the undertone. You didn't manage to answer, a bit shell shocked to be honest. Who was this guy? He took a few steps toward you, then poured a glass of water, offering it to you from a distance. "Come now child, you mush be famished. I understand your hesitation taking drink from a stranger, but I assure you, I need you alive."

You got to your feet, leery, and still unsure who this man was, but stepped forward anyway, and accepted the cup from his hand. You took a shaky sip, and surprisingly, it wasn't bad, leaving a crisp aftertaste on your tongue. The man before you glanced to Crowley who just bowed his head and remained wordless. "Oh, come now, you mean to say that you don't know who I am?" The man with the ruined skin asked, turning his expression back to you, a bit enticed by the notion. 

You shook your head with a feeling of fear creeping over your spine. "No, I'm sorry."

"You mean to tell me that those boys never bothered to mention me? That comes as a surprise really. Especially dear Sam. I thought for sure he would have at least mentioned me since he and I were so...close." The man's voice dropped an octave with malice dancing in his gaze. 

"He might have...I...I can't recall." You were trying not to be afraid, but there was a vibe about this man that made your stomach churn. 

"In that case, allow me to introduce myself my dear. Does the name 'Lucifer' ring any bells?" Your eyes went wide. No. This couldn't be!

"Lucifer? As in-"

"The one and only."

"That can't be...you were-"

"Locked in the cage with Michael and Adam. Yes. I know. Long story short, I won, and now I am free. While Dean was preoccupied learning to cope without his vision, he and Sam were too busy to notice all the seals breaking. I've had demons working on breaking me out since Sam took that swan dive and Death paid the cage a visit to get him out. Now, if I want to restart the apocalypse, I am going to need Sammy's meat suit and the only way to get him to say yes, is to put something, or someone, he cares about in harms way. He and his brother have always been self sacrificial, so this time it should be easy."

You said nothing, staring at the man in awe, unable to believe what you were hearing. 

"You see Y/N, Dean has formed a connection to you. He feels close to you in ways that humans tend to do. He may not express that outwardly, but it is there and both of you know it. My theory concludes that if I have you, dearest Dean will come running to the rescue blind, no pun intended." He and Crowley both chuckled a bit. "Dean will never see me coming. Then, once I have him, Sam will have no choice but to say yes to me. Either he agrees and I let the lot of you go, or he refuses, and you will all perish. At least those two and their angel will. Who knows, I may grant mercy and keep you for myself."

You didn't know what to say. You were in total shock, glancing to Crowley and then back to the floor. "So, if I might ask, why is Crowley here?" Lucifer smiled and took a drink of his own wine before answering. 

"How polite you are! You see Crowley, manners go a long way! To answer your question, he is here so I know he won't do anything stupid. I am unsure where he stands on the matter of the apocalypse, and until I am sure, he needs to be watched. He has always been a snake." 

"So...what might you have me do then?" You asked politely, figuring it was best to cooperate than fight him because let's face it, you were no match for an archangel that had a bad temper, and a history of merciless violence. He smiled and stepped toward you, brushing the backs of his fingers over your cheek and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. 

"You don't have to do anything sweetheart. The angel will do it for you, and once he tells the brothers of your whereabouts, all will fall into place from there." Lucifer snapped his fingers and Crowley vanished, sent off to a cell most likely, leaving you and the devil alone together. "I am a terribly misunderstood creature you know. I am sure you've read the stories and heard the rumors, but when you really think about it, the only reason I've done so much bad, is because I cared too much for the things I once loved. How am I any different than the Winchesters? They fight for their own kind, for their family, what have you, so why is it when I do the same, I am looked down on as the villain, while they are the heroes? Have they not murdered innocent people in their endeavors? Have they not made sacrifices, and lied to one another to 'do the right thing'?"

The devil paused and took your face into his hands, tilting upward gently so you could look at him dead in the eyes. 

"We are all monsters, all fighting for things we love, the only difference is perspective. They fight for humans. I fight for my demons. They battle to keep their planet safe, and I battle to keep mine from being shut till the end of time. If I put you in a room, closed the door, and welded it shut, leaving you in total isolation, and said you had to stay there until time itself stood still, would you fight to keep that from happening?"

"Well yes, of course I would. Who wouldn't?" 

"Precisely. Those meddling boys attempted to close the gates of Hell forever, doing just that to me, and all my 'children'. The apocalypse was never about humans or the planet, or anything of the sort. It was about using the only middle ground there is, and having a war against those who cast me out of Heaven in the first place. Yes, I resent humans, but it was only because my father wished for me to put them before Him, Heaven, and my siblings. I couldn't do that. My love and devotion to my family and to my home was too impenetrable, so I was punished for it. Can you imagine it Y/N?

Can you imagine having a family all your own, a husband, children, the whole lot, then having your father come to you and say, 'I've made you an ant farm. You are to care for it more than anything else. Put it first no matter what happens.' If there was a house fire, would you be sure to grab that ant farm before seeing to it that your son or daughter got out safely? If there was a terrible storm and a hurricane were ripping through your town, would you get that ant farm to safety before worrying where your husband was?"

You thought on the analogy, and your jaw dropped just a little. You weren't close to your parents, not terribly, and he must have known that to use something like this. The moment he asked you to picture your life, you had pinned Dean as the husband, then imagined two small children, a boy and a girl, both blond with pretty green eyes. Then the image of the house fire came, and you absolutely would never put something as stupid as an ant farm before Dean, and especially not over your children, be them imaginary or not. Same went for the hurricane. Then it clicked. 

"The ant farm is humanity to you. The ants are humans, and the cage they are in is the Earth..."

"Bingo. You are a clever girl. Now, imagine a few of those ants rose against you, and the entire lot of them wanted to lock you away in a room, as I mentioned before. They plot to isolate you, kill your family, and be sure that you never see the light of day again. Would you allow them to do such a thing or would you simply stomp on them to save yourself and the things you loved?"

You didn't have to answer aloud for him to know what you would say. Of course you would kill the ants. 

"Despite what people say or think, I still love my family, to this day. I never wanted anything more than to go home, but I can't, so I fashioned a new home in Hell. The demons, the hellhounds, all of it subjects of my own creation to fill that void of emptiness. I am no longer defending the home I will never see again, but the one I created for myself. The angels and the humans alike wish for my demise, and no one cares to see it from my point of view."

"I'm sorry...I didn't know it was like that. I feel bad." His brow furrowed as he looked down at your face, thinking for a moment. 

"You have pity for the devil?"

"Yeah. It wasn't very fair to begin with, and closing the gates would just be the cherry on top. I can't say I can agree with everything you've done of course, but that is probably because I am human and I know I fall in with the 'ants'."

"You don't have to. I am impressed by you. It's no wonder both Winchester boys feel as they do for you, but I am not so sure they deserve it. You are much too good for them, and I believe that if you took the time, kept your mind open, you might just see beyond the mask, and learn to like me. Not to mention that with a little time I'll be in my rightful vessel, and he just so happened to be your first love, was he not?"

You were stunned. Was Lucifer...hitting on you?! Was he suggesting you could be his 'Hell Queen' someday after he took over Sam's body? 

"He was, yeah, but what about Dean? I mean, I appreciate your consideration, but I can't just stop feeling what I feel."

"You are right, I know that, but he won't live forever."

"Neither will I." You stated a bit defensively, taking a small step back. 

"Are you sure?" Lucifer gave you a wicked grin, tilting his cup to his mouth with a wink, and that was when you made another connection. The cup in your hand, the water. Was it from the fountain of youth or something?! He had already done it and you had no idea. You dropped the glass, letting it crash to the floor, backing up against the wall in fear. "Don't fret sweetheart, I didn't lace your drink. You are still as you were when I took you. I wouldn't want to keep you against your will. When you come to me, I want it to be because you wanted to, not because I forced you. I may be the devil, but I have my twinges of integrity."

~~~

"Lucifer?!" Dean shouted at Cas the moment he told the brothers who had captured you. "You gotta be frikkin; kidding me! We put him away! Sam had him locked up!"

"I am afraid it's true. He has her in a mansion out in some woodlands in Louisiana. It's abandoned. What surprised me is that he didn't ward off anything at all. There is no protection from anything. It's almost like he is welcoming whatever may come. It's a set up." Sam sighed heavily to Cas' words, knowing exactly what this was about. "Perhaps you should just...leave her. I know it must sound insensitive, but the deal will likely be a trade. Sam's permission for Y/N's return. If you just leave her, forget about her-"

"No!" Both brothers shouted in unison. They glanced in the other's general direction before Dean spoke first. 

"I am not just going to leave her at the mercy of the devil, and I am not going to let Sammy anywhere near him, you hear me?! I will go and figure something out, meanwhile, Cas, you stay here and babysit Sam."

"No! You can't go by yourself! You can't even see!"

"I don't need my eyes to talk Sam. I just need to get there. That is my girl he is holding hostage, and it is my turn to save her, you hear me?"

"Dean...are you angry about what happened on the last case? Are you upset because I saved her?" Sam sounded rather sad about it, but waited while Dean clenched his jaw.

"No! I am pissed about it because I couldn't do anything that time, and this time I can! If you aren't there, you can't say yes. So just shut up and stay put while I handle it. Got it?!" Dean left the moment Cas gave him the coordinates, and after a few hours of travel, Dean arrived on the scene. He felt his way to the front door, picking the lock, and stepping inside. 

"Y/N?" He called in his gruff voice.

Your eyes shot to the study door, then glanced at Lucifer who was lounging at the desk with his feet propped up. He waved lazily, allowing you to get up and open the door. 

"Dean?" He turned around to the sound of your voice, his expression beyond relieved. He moved toward you and wrapped you into a hug, both of you hanging on for dear life. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, I just-"

"I know, it's okay, just don't do it again. I don't want you to go. I never wanted you to go."

"I just thought you would be happier with someone other than me. Sam or otherwise. I know you two kind of had a thing."

"We didn't have a thing. I fell for him and he barely knew I existed. That's all. It was a long time ago."

"Well he knows you exist now..." 

"Well he is a little late. I'm not quitting on you."

In a short distance, a slow clapping could be heard as Lucifer leaned in the doorway. "Oh how incredibly touching! It's sweet really. Your loyalty is wondrous my dear, but I don't know...Dean has never really been the type to care about one woman for a long period of time."

"Enough. What do you want? She isn't chained up. Why?" Dean was quick to get right to the point, taking a step to move in front of you defensively. 

"Because I knew she wasn't stupid enough to run of course. What would be the point? She woke, I gave her some water, we chatted, end of story. She was suspicious of me at first of course, smart girl, but she knows I wouldn't hurt her. You on the other hand, already did. Did you not leave her in tears just hours ago?" Dean growled low in his throat, hating to be sassed by Satan.

"Never mind what goes on between me and her, what do you want, other than Sammy's meat suit? You can't have it. You know that."

"I am afraid that isn't true. I can have it if Sammy says I can, and until that happens, you two are going to stay here with me. So, he can either give it up and set you two free, or he can refuse me and I'll keep you three here until you all wither away. Or, perhaps I can figure another route...and leave it up to the lady." The devil's eyes turned to you and your breath caught in your throat. "If you could have any wish, what might that wish be Y/N?"

"I'd wish for Dean's vision to come back, and that the guilt he carries around could be lifted off him."

"A selfless wish...hmm...interesting. What about for yourself? What wish would you have then?"

"I would want to be happy with a family of my own, in a world that wasn't threatened to end in an apocalypse. I would want everything to be just as it was while you were away."

"Hurtful, but smart my dear. What if I told you that you could have these things? What would you do if I could promise you that the wishes you made could be real?"

"I would tell you that my soul isn't for sale, and ten short years aren't worth it."

"Clever. Well played. I assume Dean told you about his time in Hell after he sold his soul then?"

"Of course he did. We tell each other lots of things, and I have no desire to follow that path." 

"You say that as if I would let that happen to you my sweet. Truth be told I have been keeping my tabs and I have grown rather fond of you myself. So, I am going to let you go. I am going to let you, Dean, and the rest of them go. I could even give Dean his sight back if you wanted."

"What is the catch?" You knew something had to be going on. Why was he having this random change of heart? It didn't make sense. 

"There isn't one. I'll let you all go, you'll remember what we talked about, and then you'll see it first hand, just how right I was. Letting Dean see is just a perk, I know your little secret and I am sure you both would want him to see it when the time comes." Your face flushed of all color. He knew. 

"You want nothing in return?" You asked shakily, Dean taking your arm in his hand defensively when you stepped up toward Lucifer.

"The response I get later will be payment enough. Go and try to be happy if you think it's what you truly want. I can hop vessels for awhile until Sam comes around. I am far more interested in this new game anyway. So! Dean-o, are you ready to get your sight back?!"

"No. Not from you. I'll figure something else out if I have to." Dean didn't like anything that was happening, and it was all going so quick, he didn't know what to do. 

"Oh, you won't have much time to find an alternate route, and I won't make the offer twice. How about you ask Y/N here what it is you'll want to be seeing?" You glared at him, then turned back to Dean who just looked confused.

"The hospital told me I was pregnant Dean. They kept it confidential because they didn't want you guys to worry too much about it while I was comatose. We're both okay." Dean looked shocked and Lucifer chuckled.

"So what is it gonna be big boy? Are you gonna accept my generous offer or are you going to miss seeing the birth of your first child? The choice is yours."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not like the way this turned out at all, and I am seriously considering deleting this chapter to make something else happen.   
> I have no idea where to take this story anymore and would love some prompts or help with where it should go.
> 
> Please leave your thoughts and suggestions below!
> 
> <3


	5. Sky On Fire

There you stood in the room, Lucifer on one side, Dean on the other. The deal was on the table, and now it was up to Dean. There was nothing more you could do or say, not that it stopped you from trying. Lucifer wanted you happy now, so maybe you'd be thankful later on. Dean suddenly shook his head, his green eyes hazed over, looking right by Lucifer. "I refuse it. I don't trust you one bit you sick son of a bitch. I won't put myself in an 'I owe you' position. Not when my girl and my baby are involved."

"Fine. Do as you wish Dean, but remember, you aren't going to live forever, and your child can only be born once. If you miss it, that's on you. Have a nice night." Lucifer snapped his fingers and the front door opened, giving you and Dean the path to leave freely. 

"Wait, wait, no. No Lucifer, he needs to have his vision back. Please! Please-"

"Sorry sweetheart. Consent is kind of a big deal for us archangels. Dean refused, so I can't help you. See you later on." Lucifer snapped his fingers again, and within seconds, he was gone. You turned, feeling a new sense of hopelessness, leading Dean outside to see Castiel standing there waiting for them. 

"Y/N? Dean? Are you both alright? The building was warded, I couldn't get in." Castiel explained, looking you both over. 

"Yeah. Fine. Can you just take us back to Bobby's please? I want to go to sleep." Cas could sense something was wrong, and Dean knew it too, but Cas complied, 'zapping' them back to Bobby's where he and Ellen sat with Sam. Everyone jumped, wanting answers, but you dismissed them, heading to your room alone. A few hours passed before a knock came to your door. Dean's voice came from the other side of the door, so you allowed him entry, letting him sit on the edge of your bed. "What's up?" you asked.

"Y/N...are you mad that I didn't accept that 'gift'? Do you think I should have trusted him?"

"I think you are going to regret refusing him." You answered honestly, hugging your knees to your chest. "You know...it doesn't bother me that you don't know what I look like. I doubt it would even bother our child, because he or she won't know anything any different. It'll be normal. What I do think, however, is that once your window of opportunity is gone, and the time comes, you are really going to wish you had made the deal, and you'll beat yourself up over it for the rest of your life. I don't want that for you. I know it sucks, but Lucifer isn't going to hurt me, which means he won't hurt you or our baby either. He needs me to be on his side, otherwise his plans are ruined."

"Sammy is never going to give up his meat suit Y/N. Not again."

"I'm not worried about that yet Dean. I'm worried about you. If you think you did the right thing, then I support you, but if you are going to regret it...I just don't want you wishing you had for the rest of your life." Dean nodded and kissed your forehead, laying beside you and pulling you up into his arms, tracing his fingers over your stomach. A long moment passed before a smile played at his lips. 

"What do you think? Boy or girl?"

"I don't know...I'll be happy regardless."

"Me too Y/N...me too."

~~~

The following morning, you stirred to find your bed empty. Dean must have already gotten up, so you didn't worry, getting ready for the day, and heading down to breakfast. It was then you scanned the table and furrowed a brow, only seeing Bobby, Ellen, and Sam. "Hey...where is Dean?" you asked as Sam furrowed a brow. 

"We thought he was with you.." you shook your head, and headed back upstairs to check your phone, nothing. You checked his room, the bathrooms, and nothing. He was just gone. Panic filled your chest, heading out to the impala, and finding a note in Dean's sloppy handwriting attached to the seat. 

'Dear Y/N,  
I made a mistake, and I intend to fix it. I don't know how, but I've gone with Ash to find another way. Don't worry about me. I'll be back.  
All My Love,   
~Dean'

He was gone. You took the note to the others and paced the floors, calling Ash and Dean over and over, getting no answer whatsoever. You felt sick, worried off your rocker about him, and hoping he wouldn't do anything stupid. 

~~~

Dean had been gone for a week. No word. Not one call. Not one message. You had finally had enough waiting, and took off with Sam, tracking Dean's phone to get the coordinates. 

"I'm sure he is fine Y/N, Ash is with him." Sam tried to reassure you, but you almost cut him off. 

"You wouldn't say yes to Lucifer would you?"

"What? No. Not unless I didn't have a choice...like last time. Why?" he asked as he drove. You told him what Lucifer had said and all the details of that night, causing him to nod. "Oh...well I mean...I don't know what he intends to do, but if I can avoid it I will."

You both pulled into a church parking lot, getting out to see it was empty, aside from Ash's car. You rushed in, opening the big front doors and slipping in, just in time to see some angel put his hand on Dean's forehead, and his grace lit them both up like the fourth of July. Exactly the same way it looked when Castiel used his grace to smite an enemy. Within seconds, Dean was on the floor, motionless, and Ash looked like he was going to be sick. 

"Dean! No!" you screamed, running full force for them. The angel vanished, and you crashed down to pull Dean into your lap. "Wake up, please Dean, don't be dead...come on, you can't leave me now." you begged him, cradling and rocking his body, tears streaming down your face, and looking to Sam. The younger Winchester knelt down, asking Ash what happened, and checking to be sure Dean had a pulse. 

"Come on, let's get him back to Bobby's. Cas will know what to do." You nodded, letting Sam carry Dean into the car, and transporting him back to his room. You got him changed into something more comfortable, resting him into his bed and dabbing his forehead with a cool cloth. Castiel stated that he didn't seem any different, other than the fact that he wasn't awake. He couldn't detect any injury. Ash tried to describe the angel they had found, but Castiel couldn't recognize one by vessel description alone. 

You stayed with Dean through the night, glancing to Sam when he came to check on you. 

"Hey Y/N, how are you holding up? You okay?"

"Yeah. Just waiting."

"I was just worried...you kind of freaked when we thought he died, and I just wanted to be sure."

"Yeah, sorry about that...I thought I had lost him and I just...I know that life goes on, that I would have survived if he died, but in that moment, I would have sworn on my life that this was the end of the world. I don't want to live my life without him in it Sam. Blind or otherwise. I love him." Sam nodded and set down a glass of water for you to drink. 

"I know, and I am glad for that. He needs you Y/N. He has always needed someone like you. I really hope it all goes better from here."

"Thanks Sam, that means a lot." He bid you goodnight, and left you alone, unaware that Dean could hear every word that was being said.

~~~

The following day, Ellen had taken a shift so you could stretch your legs. You showered and dressed in one of your favorite outfits, heading outside to pick some flowers for the table. Ellen had her own garden on the property so it wasn't difficult. You brought the bouquet inside, placing them in a vase, and setting it up on the kitchen table. From there, you decided to do the dishes, get something to eat, and take a moment for yourself to drink some coffee and sit near the window. 

Upstairs, Ellen sat with Dean, sewing one of Bobby's shirts while she waited, glancing over the moment he started to stir. She set the shirt aside, bringing the cloth to his forehead, and not expecting to see his beautiful, clear, green, eyes staring back at her. "Dean? Honey? What did...what did you do?" Dean didn't answer right away, just looked around, getting used to his sight again. 

"I made a deal." he answered truthfully. 

"With an angel? Winchester you have got to be out of your mind."

"No. I summoned Lucifer...I asked him for the offer, and he agreed. After he took off, some angel got upset with me and tried to take me out, but the deal was sweeter this time around. I should have died, but I didn't."

"Dean what the hell did you do?"

"Lucifer wants Y/N someday, so for now, he wants to make nice with her. He gave me back my sight, and said that I was 'immortal' from now until the baby comes. Nothing can kill me, I'll just be knocked out for awhile, then revive again. Then he said he would give me a few extra days if I did him a favor. He didn't tell me what it was, but said I could decide when the time came. It's all messed up, but long story short, I get to see for the next eight months, and meet my kid." Ellen didn't like this, but she was happy that he was excited. 

"Well...no turning back now. How about we get you cleaned up so you can meet your lady, huh?" Dean agreed, taking a shower, and getting rather dressed up. Bobby and Sam were at the table playing Gin, while you were reading near the window still. Ellen came down first, and you got to your feet, ready to go back and sit with Dean. "How is he doing Ellen?" you asked politely. 

"Ask him yourself sweetheart." She responded, gesturing to the stairs, just in time for you to look up, seeing Dean walk down wearing a full suit, and holding a red rose. It wasn't until his face could be seen that you, and the other two noticed the massive difference. You covered your mouth with your hand as tears welled up in your eyes. 

"Dean..." you whispered in shock, a giant smile spreading across your face. He stood before you and offered you the rose, looking you over, and tracing his fingers along the side of your face like he always did. 

"Y/N. You are even prettier than I imagined you were." he said to you, memorizing your face, your hair, everything, before leaning forward and kissing you gently. You were still shocked, totally speechless, while he pulled back and glanced to Sam. "Come on Sammy, you told me she was pretty, you didn't say she was perfect." Sam laughed and shook his head. 

"I wanted you to decide that for yourself."

"Boy did I." Dean tucked your hair behind your ear, kissing your forehead, and pulling you into his arms. "I love you Y/N, and you are the most gorgeous woman I've ever laid eyes on." You came to your senses then, taking Dean by the hand and leading him outside, just as the sun was setting on the horizon. You both sat, fingers laced together, watching the color, and you rested your head on his shoulder while his free arm wrapped over your shoulders. Shades of orange, yellow, pink, and red, filled the sky, so much so, that it almost looked like it was on fire. It was beautiful, and this moment was perfect. 

"I don't want to know what happened yet. I just want to enjoy this for a moment."

"Me too Y/N." He glanced over, admiring you, before tilting your chin and kissing you gently. For a moment, one fleeting moment, everything was perfect, and nothing else in the world mattered. Not right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?? I hope this was generally what people were hoping for. I am back!!!


	6. The Road So Far

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few months have passed since Dean made that deal, and all seems well for the time being, until the reader realizes just how much trouble she is in between brothers. As the days pass, Sam seems to step up, just as Dean begins to step back. The appointment is coming soon, the big gender reveal, but things are strained when Dean doesn't show.

Five months ago, Dean got his vision back, and since then, he had changed drastically. He liked to go out, hunts, bars, clubs, whatever, resorting back to drinking heavy and hustling pool. The fights between you were getting more intense, and you couldn't figure out what you had done to upset him so much. Maybe this wasn't the life he wanted anymore. Sam seemed to notice what was happening, and though he never intruded, he helped to pick up the slack Dean left in his wake. Sam built a crib from spare lumber that Bobby had, and truthfully, it was beautifully done. There was even a rocking chair he made that matched. The walls were white for now, and on the floor were two cans of paint. One was a light blue, the other pastel pink. Today was the day. The appointment to find out the gender. 

Dean was away, once again, taking advantage of the use of his eyes, and helping whomever he could. It was getting to be pretty lonely without him to be honest, and it bothered you that he was gone so often, but you never complained. Maybe he needed the thrill, or maybe he just wanted to feel important, you weren't sure, but he was drifting, and you could feel it. You stepped out of the room and headed down to the kitchen to see Bobby and Ellen having coffee at the table, Sam beside them, just sitting to have breakfast. 

"Good morning Y/N. Did you sleep okay?" Sam asked, getting back to his feet to get your plate ready, and sat it down for you in your place. 

"Yeah, I slept well, thanks Sam. I mean, my ankles swell and my back kills by the end of the day, but other than that I'm great. Actually, I've been having this insane craving for strawberries." You sat down and nodded to Sam in thanks for your plate before he gave you the 'one second' sign, and got into the fridge. 

"I actually picked some up yesterday at the farmer's market. Organic and pesticide free. I didn't know if you liked strawberries, so I left them out, but if you want, I could cut some up to go with your pancakes." he offered politely, holding up the container of bright red strawberries. 

"Oh, Sam, you're a lifesaver! Yes please!" Sam smiled and nodded, beginning to slice them for you while Ellen sipped her coffee and turned to you. 

"So you got your appointment today huh kiddo? Have you decided on any names yet? You are going to find out the gender right?" She was just as eager as you were, and it showed. "I remember when I was pregnant with Joanna Beth, I couldn't get enough sweets. Caramel corn, chocolate, ice cream, you name it and I wanted it." You giggled with her and nodded once before answering. 

"We decided to find out today, yes. We are still kind of at a standstill with the names though. We can't seem to agree...In fact, we haven't been agreeing on much lately.." You picked up your orange juice and took a sip, glancing up at Ellen when she spoke.

"I know he has been gone a lot sweetheart, but that's just his way of dealing with stress. That boy is likely scared out of his wits with all this going on, and he just uses cases as a way to clear his head."

"No, I don't mind that I guess, it's when he is here. We start talking and then it turns into a disagreement, and before I know it I'm sleeping in my room alone while he is out looking for another case. It's like we don't even speak the same language anymore and I don't know what I did wrong." Sam turned and set the fresh cut strawberries next to your plate and you both smiled before he sat back down and started on his own plate. 

"I've heard it." Bobby chimed in, glancing over at Ellen. "Dean hasn't really been acting like himself lately...I didn't mean to eavesdrop Y/N, but I heard. Dean seems to be running, is what he is doing. He was all excited at first, but as the time went on and Y/N started to show...the reality seems to have set in and he is making matters worse and taking it out on her. I about hit him over the head after what he said to her."

"Bobby, don't, he didn't mean that, he was just upset." you protested, trying to protect him.

"That's no excuse. I don't care what his reason is, that don't give him the right to speak to a woman that way. Especially the very same woman waddling around carrying his kid. He could be a little more respectful, grateful even." Bobby started to get flustered and got up from the table. "If that idjit doesn't get back in time for your appointment, the three of us will take you ourselves. Don't worry sweetie, even if Dean does decide to backpedal on this, you won't have to do it all by yourself. Right Ellen?"

"Absolutely. You'll still have us." she agreed, raising a glass and smiling. You finished your breakfast and almost the whole container of strawberries before helping Sam to clear the table. Ellen stepped out to sit on the porch with Bobby, leaving the two of you alone, which really wasn't that big a deal. You started to put things away in the refrigerator when a hefty kick grazed your belly. You giggled and put your hand over the area, turning to Sam and smiling. 

"This little one is awfully strong! Do you want to feel?" you asked him, turning to stand in front of him. He smiled and complied happily, letting you place his hand where the kicks were coming from. You both giggled and cooed about it, before returning back to cleaning up, and Sam began a conversation. 

"So, what names were you guys talking about? I mean I can guess what Dean would pick, but what about you?" 

"Well Dean likes 'John' and 'Mary' of course, but they seem so old fashioned. Not to mention those names already belong to important people in his life. I'd like to give the baby something original. Something that is theirs. I really like Lexi Renae Winchester for a girl. It's feminine but strong, and for a boy, I picked Ryder Lee Winchester. There is no real meaning behind them, I just like them because they're unique."

"I like them too. I think it's weird how everyone in the world always name their babies after someone. It's like it's impossible to give them their own identity. I mean look at us. I was named after my grandfather, and Dean was named after our grandmother. I like your idea. I think you should try to stick with it."

"Thanks Sam. I'll talk to him again and see what he says."

~~~

Time for the appointment came and Dean was still nowhere to be seen. Ash called the last minute and said they were on their way back, but it didn't look like they were going to make it. Ellen handed the phone over to you, letting you handle it, while she went to get Bobby and Sam. 

"It's okay Ash, don't worry about it."

"I'm really sorry Y/N. The hunt was a little trickier than we anticipated. We'll get there as soon as we can okay?"

"I don't know why you two left in the first place. Dean knew this was scheduled for today. He promised he would be here."

"He is trying, we're taking back routes to avoid speed traps."

"Ash! Don't let him do that! He might have the power of immortality right now, but you don't! If he crashes, you're a dead man! Tell him to slow his ass down and use his head for once." There was a muffled sound before Ash hollered, and Dean picked up the phone. 

"Y/N, listen, I said I'm sorry, okay? I can't help these things."

"You could have stayed here Dean. You didn't have to go. Is this even important to you at all?" you asked quietly with tears lining your eyes.

"Of course it is! Don't try making me feel guilty-"

"You should!" you interrupted and shook your head. "You keep taking off, staying gone for days, no phone calls, no text messages, nothing! Then when you are home, all you do is argue with me and I am not putting up with it anymore. If you don't want to be around, then don't be. I get you're stressed okay, but so am I! I can't do this by myself, and you shouldn't make me! So just...slow down and I'll see you whenever you show up. Ellen, Bobby, and Sam are driving me to the appointment. I guess I'll just text Ash when I find out the gender."

"Oh come on Y/N, don't be like that." he said starting to understand that what he was doing was hurting you. "I don't mean to go off the rails like this, it's just what I do. I'm a hunter, it's my blood, and I can see for a little while. I have to use it while I have it."

You scoffed. How disappointing.

"Well you might be able to see physically Dean, but I don't think you've ever been so blind." With that, you hung up the phone and stepped outside to get into the car. The ride was quiet, Bobby driving, Ellen riding shotgun, and Sam in the backseat next to you. When you all arrived at the hospital, you got checked in, and made your way to the waiting area, where Ellen started to get all excited. 

"As long as the baby is healthy, that's what matters, but I hope you have a girl! They're so sweet when they're little, but growing up with the Winchester brothers, she'd be bound to be tough as nails! What do you think Bobby?"

"Me? Oh, I don't much mind regardless. Girls are cute and all, but I'll tell ya, boys are a little easier to bring up, especially if you're new at it. Just my opinion." The doctor came in and called your name, saying they were ready for you. You got to your feet and the group wished you luck. You headed for the doctor and a pit grew in your stomach. What if something was wrong? What if you got bad news? The uncertainty of it made you turn around and step back up to them. 

"Sam, would you mind coming with me? Hospitals make me nervous as it is and I don't want to go by myself."

"Uh..." Sam glanced to Bobby and Ellen, both nodding and encouraging him to go before he smiled and nodded. "Sure. Yeah, I can do that." He got to his feet and escorted you back while Ellen smiled. 

"I don't know about you Bobby, but I still see the spark between those two."

"Yeah, I see it too Ellen, but what does that mean for Dean? They break up and Sam steps in to raise his own nephew as his son? I mean that's just a little weird isn't it?"

"Not really. Think of it this way, if Dean, Heaven forbid, had died back when that angel attacked him, where would Y/N be now? Still with us, and just having Sam to help her get through. They could have wound up together anyway, and that doesn't change anything. Regardless, that baby is going to be well taken care of and very well loved, no matter what happens. Dean just better pull his head out of his ass before it's too late."

~~~

In the room, you hopped up onto the bed, letting Sam stand next to you while the technician started up the ultrasound machine. The woman seemed nice enough, striking a conversation right away. 

"Hi there, I'm Margie, I'll be your tech today!" she said happily, adjusting your shirt and pants to reveal your belly. "You two look excited! Are we finding out gender today?"

"Hopefully, yes. And I know I'm excited!" you responded a little nervously. 

"What about you Daddy? A little nervous are ya?" she asked with a wink. Sam's face turned red and he struggled for a response before you decided to answer for him. 

"A little. I think we both are."

"First timers?" 

"Yep. Both of us."

"Oh how precious! Well, let's see what we can see!" The tech did her job well, printing out the photos and pointing out what she was seeing on the screen so you both could understand. Once the result was apparent, you both got a little emotional, and Sam leaned down to hug you. Your arms went around his shoulders and you smiled. "Happy, healthy, and very proud!" the tech said, handing over the photos in an envelope. Both you and Sam thanked her before you were cleaned up, and Sam led you out by the small of your back, returning to the waiting room. 

Ellen got to her feet right away and took your hands. "Tell me. Is everything okay? What happened?" You exchanged glances with Sam and smiled at Ellen. 

"Everything is perfect. The baby is doing just fine. Sam and I know the gender, but I want to surprise you guys, so tomorrow, after breakfast, I'll do the big reveal. Okay?"

"Whatever you want sweetness. I'm just happy it's turning out for you."

~~~

That night, once Bobby and Ellen went to bed, you filled up the tub and soaked in the warm water, letting it relax your achy muscles. You checked your phone about thirty times, but to no avail. Dean hadn't called back, or even messaged, and still wasn't home. You stayed in the water until it lost most of it's heat, getting out and toweling off. You pulled your hair back and dressed in a big tee shirt and a pair of sweats, moving to stand by your window to watch for the headlights that still hadn't come. A knock came to the door and you turned, seeing Sam step in, paint of the appropriate color spattered on his shirt. 

"Sam...did you...did you paint the nursery for me?"

"Yeah, I uh...I knew you couldn't do it because the paint fumes could be harmful to the baby. I hope that's okay, I just figured maybe for your reveal tomorrow, you could just have everyone open the door to see what color. I mean you don't have to, I was just trying to help." You smiled brightly and stepped forward to give Sam a hug.

"It was very thoughtful of you. I really appreciate it, also, I never got the chance to thank you for going with me today."

"Don't mention it. It was my pleasure." The two of you stepped into the nursery, flicking on the light so you could see. It was perfect, and you couldn't be happier. 

"Sam! This is great! You did such a good job! Thank you!"

"You're welcome Y/N. It was the least I could do. I can put in carpet tomorrow if you want. Maybe start up on a dresser or something."

"You'd do all that? For us?"

"Of course I would. Dean isn't what I would call a 'master carpenter', and it gives me and Bobby something to do."

You turned off the light and shut the door, stepping back toward your bedroom, and leaning in the door frame. Sam followed and leaned against the nearby wall, falling quiet for a long moment before he spoke. 

"You shouldn't let Dean talk down to you. I don't know what he said or anything, but I know my brother, and he can get a little...he...he doesn't communicate the greatest. I'll put it that way." Sam struggled for words, trying to be encouraging, and stumbling through it. "What was it anyway?"

"He uhm...he was just venting. Upset about Lucifer and told me..." you started to struggle for your own words. "He just said if I hadn't gotten pregnant then we wouldn't be in this mess."

"He shamed you? For being...seriously?!"

"I don't think he meant it the way it sounded, but we really haven't spoken to each other since."

"Y/N...that's...I'm so sorry." Sam said and pulled you into his arms gently. He smoothed your hair and just kind of rocked there a moment. "Don't believe that. Not for one second. Lucifer has been a problem since way before this, so don't let him tell you it's your fault, because it isn't. If it wasn't going this way, Lucifer would have found some other way to get under our skin. This is a blessing, okay? You still want the baby right?"

"Of course I do. I just don't think Dean does anymore..." Your eyes got a bit teary, hiding your face in Sam's chest, and letting him act as a physical shield from the world for a moment. 

"Even if he doesn't...you still have us. Remember what Ellen said? You aren't alone in this no matter what happens. You've got us."

"Even you?"

"Even me."

Only a few tears escaped your eyes as you looked up and smiled, feeling better knowing that you didn't have to do everything by yourself, especially if Dean did decide to bail on you. Sam just smiled back a little sadly, wiping your tears off your cheeks with his thumbs, and tucking the loose strands of your hair behind your ears. The baby kicked, even managing to catch Sam off guard as your stomach was leaned against him too. 

All of a sudden, the world kind of slowed down for a second. You looked up while Sam was looking down at you, still cradling your face into his hands. Then, like a dream or a tale from a storybook, he glanced down at your lips then back to your eyes, leaning forward, ever so slightly. Your heart beat quickened, slamming against your chest, and without really contemplating it, you leaned forward too, just a little. The closer you got, the quieter the world became, and you found yourself leaning up onto your tip toes. The moment came, and your lips met his, soft and gentle like you always thought it would be. 

Your hands danced up over his chest to slide along his neck, tracing invisible lines across his jawline. Sam moved one hand from your jawline, down to your side, being sure to keep you steady and balanced. For a moment, you didn't have a care in the world. For a moment, everything was perfect. For just one moment, you were perfectly at ease. The kiss grew just a little deeper, still innocent enough, until all of a sudden, the headlights from the window flashed across the room, and you both were taken off guard. You both let go of each other and took a step back, suddenly feeling super awkward. 

"I'm uh...just...don't tell Dean. Okay?" Sam asked, looking half heartbroken, half reluctant to leave you.

"I won't say anything." That was all you managed to get out before hearing Ash fumble the keys at the front door. Sam didn't want to go, but he kissed your forehead and vanished into his room, allowing you to slip into your room, and shut the door. You ran over into your bed, covered up, and took a deep breath, having a few minutes to let that sink in, and for your heart beat to go back down. Sam kissed you. You kissed Sam Winchester! What?! 

You heard Dean knock, but you didn't respond. You didn't want to see him now. You were honestly still upset he had blown off the reveal. He stepped in anyway and sat on the edge of your bed, pushing your hair from your face, and you turned to face away from him. 

"Get out Dean. I don't feel like talking. I just want to go to sleep."

"Y/N don't push me out of this okay-"

"You are the one who keeps walking away Dean. Not me. You keep leaving, and you were the one who missed everything."

"I'm sorry. I just don't know what I'm doing so I bolt. It's kind of my move."

"Well I can't just get up and bolt away from my life like you can Dean. I have to sit here and face them. Either you're with me or you're not, and to be perfectly honest, you haven't felt very 'here' in months."

"I'm here right now."

"But for how long? Tomorrow? Day after? You'll tell me what I want to hear now, then in a few days max, you'll be off again on another case with Ash. Face it Dean. You don't want this anymore."

"I...I don't know what I want."

"I know. Just go to bed. You can find out the gender tomorrow with everyone else."

"Did everything go alright at least?" Dean asked quietly, feeling pretty bad for the decisions he had made recently.

"The baby is fine. Sam went in with me so I didn't have to do it by myself."

"Oh, good. I'm glad he has been around to keep you company while I'm gone."

"Yeah..." you said rolling your eyes and pulling your blanket up by your face. "Me too."

~~~

The following morning, you showered and headed to breakfast, bumping into Sam in the hallway. 

"Oops, sorry Sam. I uh.." You tried to step the other way but so did he and you bumped again. "Uhm.." once more, and it happened again, before you reached out, took his arms, and spun the two of you to pass the other. "There. Sorry. Did you...did you sleep okay?"

Sam looked like he was going to try to play it off like nothing happened, but he broke the awkward facade and shook his head. 

"No. Not a single wink. What about you?"

"Me either. Dean tried to talk to me but it just made me feel worse. He isn't the same person he was and it's the person he was that I miss, you know?"

"I hear you. It'll all work out though...you uhm...you didn't tell him...did you?"

"Nope. It didn't come up."

"Good...I mean I was going to apologize to you for it, but-"

"Apologize for what?" Dean's voice rang through the hall, drying his hands on a towel and leaning in the doorway. You and Sam both jumped but Sam was quick to cover. 

"For spilling paint on the floor in the nursery. I tipped the can by accident and made a mess, but it's clean now."

"Breakfast is almost done. Are you two coming or not?" Dean asked, blowing off the whole thought, and moving down the stairs. You and Sam exchanged glances before going downstairs, everyone taking their seats as usual. Conversation was tight and a little passive aggressive to be honest. Everyone was tense, but no one fought, which was a plus. There was however a touch of awkwardness between you and Sam, neither knowing what to say or how to feel. Ellen noticed the tension, and after breakfast, cornered you alone at the sink. 

"Hey sweet pea, what is going on with you this morning? Everything okay with you and Sammy? Did you two fight or something?"

"Oh, Sam? No no no no, Sam and I are fine. Why wouldn't we be fine? We're fine." You said quickly and started drying an already dry plate. 

"Spill it Y/L/N, what happened? You're both acting weird."

"Sam and I..." you started to say, glancing around to make absolutely sure you were alone, then dropped your voice to a very quiet whisper. "We kind of...kissed last night."

"What?"

"Shh. You heard me. Part of me feels bad enough already, so please don't rub it in." Ellen crossed her arms and leaned against the sink. 

"And the other half of you?"

"The other part doesn't feel bad at all. To be fair, I knew Sam first, had a thing for the longest time...I mean neither of us have said sorry for it."

"Are you sorry for it?" 

"No." You answered simply, not feeling sorry at all. 

"Take your time to decide honey. Life isn't a race. It's okay to be confused."

~~~

That afternoon, you gathered everyone together, standing outside the nursery doorway, ready for the reveal. 

"Okay everyone. After finding out the gender of the baby, Sam painted the nursery for me. If the walls are pink, I'm having a girl, and if they're blue, I'm having a boy. Is everyone ready?" Everyone hollered and hooted until your fingers gripped the door handle, then all fell silent with anticipation. You exchanged glances with Sam, who nodded to you from the back of the group, and a smile spread across your face. 

"Ladies and gentlemen, I am having a-"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! Sorry I was gone so long guys, family emergency. Anyway! I hope you like the addition to this story! What I need now is for you guys to tell me what gender you'd like the baby to be. Also, let me know how you're feeling about the reader and what you think she should do. What would you do? Thank you all so much for sticking with me. I love you all! <3


	7. The Big Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boy or Girl? The wait is over!

Dean stepped forward, looking at the walls of the nursery. Atop the paint there were stickers of little animals, the crib, the rocking chair, a dresser, and even carpet to match. It looked like it had come straight out of a catalogue, and the eldest Winchester was left totally speechless. Ellen screamed and hugged you tightly, Bobby smiled brightly and wrapped his arm around you too, while Sam just smiled watching everyone. Dean stood silent, staring at the room and letting the information sink in. 

"Congratulations sweetheart!" Ellen cooed, smoothing your hair, and though you knew she loved you, you kind of felt like she used you as a Jo replacement. That was fine of course, but it struck you then that she'd never have real biological grandchildren, and this was the closest she'd ever get. You were happy to be that person for her, and considering your own mother, Ellen was a much better choice by far. Then there was Bobby, the best damn father figure you'd ever met, and though he didn't seem to think much of himself, you and the boys thought the world of him. 

After a few minutes, everyone went downstairs. Only two months remained in the pregnancy, and you felt like a blimp, your ankles were swollen, sleeping was next to impossible, but you never once complained. No, it wasn't 'fun', but you were creating something some women only dreamed about, and you didn't want to take that for granted. You sat down at the couch, accepted the Sunday paper from Sam with a nod of thanks, and all of a sudden, the event of last night replayed in your head. Sam's fingertips tracing your skin while his lips moved gently against yours, and even his grip on your waist in that moment was gentle yet strong and protective. Part of you had enjoyed it, you had to admit, but it just wasn't the same as Dean. Or what Dean used to be anyway.

He hadn't come to the living room, and you hadn't even spoken to him. He'd missed the reveal, and you were still upset about that. He stood out on the back porch, drinking back some cider Ellen made, and you had no desire to go speak to him. Sure, you felt guilty about the kiss with Sam, but even if you told Dean, would he care? You dwelled on it for awhile, and after you'd finished the crossword, you finally stepped outside, ready to give Dean a piece of your mind. He spoke before you, however, and his words actually caught you off guard.

"I bet she is gonna be beautiful...just like her mom." he said quietly, leaning against a beam, and looking at the gray sky. A storm was coming, and the smell of it was settling in. You remained quiet, crossing your arms and staring at him. "We're having a girl Y/N. A perfect little innocent girl...I can't believe it. I mean I was prepared for a boy, I practically raised Sam my whole life so I figured sure, that won't be so hard right? But when the door opened and everything was pink...I was floored, and honestly...I don't know what to think."

"That seems to be a reoccurring problem for you doesn't it?" You asked with a touch of sass to your tone. "Dean, listen, I didn't come out here to chit chat okay? I came out here to tell you exactly how I feel, so shut up and listen." The elder brother turned to face you, confusion on his face, and anger on yours. "Ever since you took off and got your vision back, you've been awful. So awful in fact that I can barely stand to be around you longer than five minutes, not that that's a challenge considering you're gone so much on cases. I know you want to help people while you can, but what about me? What about us and what we had? You didn't think I'd need you? You just figured you could go off and do whatever and I'd just sit around waiting for you? No. If you want in, fine, act like it, but if you don't, all you have to do is say so. Dean, I'm so mad that I'm ready to pack up my stuff and move out. Do you understand?" Panic struck dean's features and he took a step toward you, cradling your face in his hands. 

"No, no, no, no, no, don't do that. Please. Don't. I don't want you to go, I was acting stupid okay? I didn't mean to just bail, I was...I was scared alright? The longest relationship I ever had fizzled out after a year, and you have been here about that long now, and on top of the whole kid thing, I just figured you'd get sick of me and take off. I was dumb and started to pull away because I thought you were going to hurt me. Take off with our kid and never talk to me again..."

"She doesn't feel like 'our' kid Dean. You haven't been here for anything. No doctor's appointments, no nursery planning, I mean you've been gone so much you even missed the reveal on ultrasound. You haven't even heard her heartbeat yet. I had to have Sam go in with me and when the ultrasound tech called him 'daddy', we didn't correct her. It should have been you and it wasn't because of your stupid cases and running around with Ash and Garth. The only reason I even knew you were okay is because I had Cas keep an eye on you. You barely ever call, and frankly, I'm sick and tired of waiting around for you to get your shit together. Either you're for this, or your not...I liked you better when you were blind." Dean grew upset and raised his voice a little.

"So did I! I was a much better person without my vision, and you taught me everything, but the idea of missing the birth of my kid made me feel like I was walking in my father's footsteps. I've seen the birth videos for me and Sam and guess what!? He wasn't there for either one of us. He was late both times, missed everything, and she just let him do it. I didn't wanna be that guy!"

"But you ARE that guy! You were always there for me before and now you're just off on hunts all the time. How do I know you're not running around with some girl like my dad did huh?" Dean fell silent for a moment and furrowed his brow.

"Nothing happened."

"Excuse me?" you asked in complete shock. "Come again?"

"It was a few weeks back. Ash got drunk with me and Garth, and we found ourselves stumbling out of the bar. There were these women outside and they offered to drive us to the nearest motel. They came in because the other two were hoping to get lucky, but I don't personally remember much about the night. Ash told me the girl kissed me, but I told her I was taken, and then went on about you and the baby. I'm sorry Y/N, I didn't do it, I just-"

"Got drunk and kissed someone else?"

"Please don't be upset, I made a mistake. It wasn't like I mean to, it just...happened."

"Oh I'm not upset. I mean Sam and I kissed last night, but it wasn't like we meant to so don't be mad." You blurted out without thinking. You stuck to your guns while his expression changed and he started to get angry. 

"What? What do you mean you and Sam kissed?"

"After he finished the nursery for me. He kind of went for it and I kind of let him. I guess that makes us even then huh?" Dean fell quiet and dropped his gaze to the ground. 

"I really screwed up, didn't I Y/N? I mean here I was so afraid to lose you and I'm the one shoving you right into Sammy's arms. I haven't been there for you, I've treated you like dirt, and I just...I don't have an excuse. I figured raising a boy would be just like raising Sam. Cases, cars, the works you know? But once I saw pink, my entire world shook. I don't know the first thing about little girls. I didn't say anything because I was in shock, but I had an epiphany...I wanted to protect her. From monsters, from guys, from injuries, everything. Then I thought, 'well I want to do the same for Y/N', and I guess you could say seeing the room rattled me back to my senses...I get it if you don't forgive me and you want to go...but I need you to hear me. I love you and I am sorry that I let that scare me and ran from it. I made a huge mistake, and I want to fix it if you'll let me. No, I'm not happy about you and Sam, but I deserved it, and I can look past it if you can. Please Y/N...please don't go."

A long silence took place. His eyes were glassed over as if he were tearing up, and you yourself had to look at the ground to keep from getting emotional yourself. The rain started to fall lightly and you stared at it for awhile before turning to go back inside. 

"I love you Dean, I have for a long time, but you have some serious ground to cover if you plan to make it up to me and to your daughter...I'm sorry about kissing Sam also, but your drinking, and taking off, and running around without me, that's all over. Either you're with me or your not. You told me about your half brother Adam, and if I had been Mary, I'd have kicked John's ass a long time before that. Don't grow up to be like John. Grow up to be a guy you'd want your little brother to be. The type of person you'd want your daughter to marry." With that said, you walked back into the house, and went up to rest in your bedroom. 

~~~

After a nap, you woke when you heard your door close. You looked to the sound to see Sam standing there, looking you over before he approached your bedside.

"Did you rest well my dear?" he asked in a low tone.

"Yeah I guess. Thanks? What's going on?" You rubbed the sleep from your eyes and sat up a little, glancing at the clock. You'd only slept about half an hour, wishing to just roll over and go back to bed. 

"I heard part of your conversation with Dean. You're breaking up?" he questioned, his voice a little off. Kind of formal really. 

"I don't know, I don't think so? I gave him a choice, it's his job to make it. Who knows maybe he'll have some change of mind and show me he cares." Sam nodded and shrugged a shoulder. 

"Or he'll show you he doesn't, Why are you giving him another chance anyway? He doesn't deserve it after everything he has done to you."

"Seriously Sam? Since when do you think Dean is undeserving of anything? You're acting weird. I'm going back to sleep."

"No, just hear me out...I really enjoyed last night. I just thought maybe..." his sentence trailed off and he lifted his hand to tuck your hair behind your ear.

"Sam what are you doing?" 

"Proving that Dean isn't the only one who knows how to love you." With that said, he leaned forward and kissed you, much more aggressively than the night before. You tried to push him away, but his fingers gripped your hair and held you close to his chest. "Shhh, you're okay. Just accept the notion darling. After all, this will be your future someday." It took you a moment to catch on, but once you realized what was happening, you struggled hard. 

"Lucifer!? Let go of me! Dean! Somebody hel-"

"Shhh." he cut you off before crashing his lips to yours again. "As I said, no need to fret."

"How are you doing this? What did you do to Sam?"

"Nothing. This is just a simple trick of the eye. You're still asleep, but I'm in your head. You're gonna see what I want you to see. Now, Dean owes me a favor. Tell him to meet me at the old wishing well by the cemetery tonight at midnight. If he shows, I'll be nice, but if he doesn't and he makes me track him, well someone is going to pay a price for my frustration, and I bet he'd just hate to have his kid be born blind."

"No! No please, don't do that. I'll tell him okay? I'll make sure he goes." The Sam looking Lucifer smiled mischievously and nodded before scooping you up effortlessly and placing you on his lap in a kind of straddle. His fingers on one hand ran down your spine, and gripped at your backside just as the other cradled your jaw and he pulled you in for a much more gentle kiss this time. His tongue danced across your lip and for some reason, you kind of fell victim to the action. You melted just for a second until his voice spoke against your mouth. 

"Been awhile since last you were really touched aye?" he asked rather seductively, and though your eyes were closed, you had to evaluate the last time. The last time you had been intimate was the first time with Dean. Now that you thought on it, it had been awhile, and your unbalanced hormones were starting to boil. Was this just a stupid dream or was Lucifer really manifesting in your head? Regardless you were incredibly turned on, but not by him. By the idea of being touched. 

All of a sudden, you woke up in a sweat, gasping for air, and looking around. The room was empty and your clothes were soaked. You looked at the clock and it was nearly eight at night. You'd slept all day, and hadn't had a thing to eat since breakfast. You got up and went to the kitchen, finding a note on the table. 

'Y/N, drove Ellen and Sam out to go help Ash with a flat tire and get some grub. Your dinner is in the fridge, didn't want to wake you. -Bobby'

You put the note down and went to the fridge, heating up some leftover spaghetti. After eating, you sipped some juice, and headed up to take a cold shower to try and 'cool off'. It didn't seem to work, as you felt the same when you got out, wrapping a towel around your body, and heading to your room. To your surprise you bumped into Dean, and blushed.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't hear you coming this way." you apologized before stepping aside. He smiled and looked you over before shrugging.

"Not at all, pardon me. I should have been watching where I was going...listen, about earlier..."

"Don't." You interrupted. "I don't want to talk about that right now. I just...I wanna.." you struggled for words before you just leaned up on your tiptoes and touched your lips to his. "I want to fix us...Lucifer showed up in a dream while I was sleeping. He looked like Sam and he said he wanted me to tell you to meet him at some wishing well by a cemetery at midnight. He came onto me and said that Id end up with him someday, and it just got me thinking...I don't want that. I just want you, if you want me and your daughter that is. I didn't mean to be so harsh with you before."

"No Y/N, I needed to hear it. I needed that reality check. I want to fix us too, and I'll go deal with Lucifer then, but right now, I want to fix what I broke." He closed his eyes and trailed his fingers through your hair like he did before when he was blind, tracing his thumb across your cheek. The familiarity of it made your eyes close, placing your hands up around his neck, and pulling yourself a little closer. 

"So kiss me like you did. Like you used to. That's a good place to start." You both smiled and he nodded before leaning down to touch his lips to yours. It was intimate, gentle, and everything it was just like the first time he'd ever kissed you. It was genuine. He meant what he was doing and you could feel the sorrow for his actions trying to make up for the hurt that he'd inflicted on you. You returned the gesture, pulling him close and backing up into the open doorway of his bedroom. You half stumbled and pulled him down with you, landing on the bed with ease. He minded your rather large pregnant belly, and rested over top of you, pushing your hair from your face and looking at your eyes. 

"I love you Y/N."

"I love you too Dean." Your voices were whispers before you continued to giggle and kiss, playing like a couple of love struck teens. After a few minutes, your touch became more and more hungry, and your giggling turned into a different sound completely. You nipped at his neck, slid your hands up his shirt, and took it off, tossing it to the floor with ease. "Dean...I...I wanna..."your sentence was all broken between feverish kisses.

"You sure?" he asked, a bit surprised to make up like this, especially considering the nature of the fight, as well as how far into the pregnancy you were. "You're not too...uncomfortable?"

"No, not at all...please?" You asked rather breathless. "Please, I want to. I just wanna be close to you again." He took that into consideration and nodded once before leaning down to kiss you deeply. He got up and turned out the lights. 

"Then we're going to do this right." He sated, turning on the music from his CD player on the bedside table. It was pitch black like before, music playing, and suddenly, you could feel him crawling over top of you ever so carefully, trailing kisses from your thigh to your neck, and undressing you slowly, letting the night consume you both.

~~~

Afterward, you both had rested in the darkness for awhile, talking quietly, and reconnecting. When eleven pm rolled around, Dean reluctantly got up, and got dressed.

"I suppose I should go to the wishing well and see if your dream had any meat to it. I don't want to, but this is Lucifer, and if he threatened to mess with our baby, he is gonna hear about it. I want you to stay here."

"No, I want to go with you. He won't do anything to upset me remember?"

"True, but I don't want you getting all worked up and going into early labor either. Please, just stay?"

"And let you go work another 'case' without me? No way. We're on a new pact mister. You go I go." He considered it for a moment before nodding. 

"Alright. I'll do that." The both of you got dressed, looked presentable, hopped into the impala, and headed down the road. You'd left a note for Bobby to find stating where you and Dean had gone, making sure he wouldn't worry. When you arrived at the well, there Lucifer sat in Nick's body, waiting patiently. 

"Ah! Winchester! I see you got my message!"

"Yeah, what of it? I wouldn't have showed but you threatened my kid. Big mistake. What do you want?"

"I just need a favor. I thought you might like to know that I killed the angel who tried to smite you earlier, and it got me thinking. I should try to make a deal with Death. I remember you're pretty good friends with him right?"

"I wouldn't say 'friends', but yeah, I guess. Why can't you just summon him yourself?"

"Because he is hidden from me you idiot. I can't summon him like you can and even if I could, he wouldn't come to my call. I want you to summon him, and once he is here, I'll snap my fingers and you two, plus the car, will be back home in your little scrap yard. Sound good?"

"You aren't going to hurt him or anything are you?"

"No. I can't hurt Death without his scythe and trust me, he'd never put it within my grasp. Just summon him and I'll let you go." Dean agreed and got to work, telling Lucifer what he needed and having him flit around to get the ingredients. Once it was done, Dean lit the zippo and the bowl went up in flames, causing Death to appear before them.

"This better be good Winchester, I was eating in Japan." Lucifer stepped up and smiled. 

"It wasn't him that wanted to talk, it was me. I have a proposition for you." With that, Lucifer snapped his fingers and in an instant, you and Dean were back on Bobby's porch, Impala parked in it's usual spot. 

"What do you think he wanted?" You asked curiously, to which, Dean just shrugged. 

"No idea."

~~~

The two of you slept in the same room for the first time in a long time. You rested well, better than most nights, and the following morning you both went down to breakfast. Bobby and Ellen were bantering over his cholesterol, while Sam finished making a fresh stack of cinnamon pancakes with your usual side of strawberries. 

"You two look better this morning. You work something out?" Bobby asked, concerned for the both of you. 

"Well judging by the size of the hicky she is covering at the base of her neck, I'd say they did something." Ellen smirked as you tried to cover the mark with the collar of your shirt. 

"Yes, we're okay. We're a work in progress, but there is progress. I wanted to apologize to all of you too for being such a douche. My head was in a bad place, and I am sorry." Dean apologized honestly and everyone was quick to accept it and forgive him. "And to you Y/N, I am beyond sorry, and I know we've started to move beyond it, but that's not quite good enough for me. I took you for granted, and I never want you to feel empty like I made you feel ever again. So with that in mind, I snuck out this morning." He said, getting up from his chair and pacing a little. "I drove around, contemplating my life, and I came to realize that this isn't going to be easy, this thing with you and I, but it'll be worth it. I realized that I want you to go where I go. I want to wake up and fall asleep with you next to me, and know that you're there even if I can't physical see you." Dean then stopped and turned to you, cradling your face in his hands and kneeling to your level. "I want you to stay with me, and raise our daughter together, and be happy come hell or high water...Y/N will you marry me?" His voice was even, staring up at your eyes, pulling his hands away from your face to offer you a silver ring adorned with beautifully placed and cut diamonds. "I don't mean like a year from now, I mean now. Like tomorrow. I don't want to waste anymore of my time screwing up, and if it's a real commitment we need to fix us, then I am more than ready to do that for you. For us. So would you, Y/N Y/L/N, do me the incredible honor of becoming Mrs. Dean Winchester?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has once again been a long time since last I visited this site, but I've returned, and intend to keep going with this story because it is by far my favorite story I've written. Please keep commenting below and letting me know thoughts and feelings, and as always, I am open to suggestions! Thanks guys! Hope you enjoyed!


	8. Decisions Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For those of you craving fluffy Dean, this is the chapter for you! There will be laughter, there will be tears, and there will be fluff!

There he was, Dean Winchester, knelt before you, offering the whole world. Not because he felt obligated, but because he genuinely wanted to be with no one else but you. Had he ever proposed to someone before? You didn't know, you'd never asked, but probably not, right? You wanted to glance at Bobby or Ellen, but you just couldn't take your eyes away from Dean. The level of vulnerability he must have been feeling had to be insane, and very foreign to him. Your eyes grew teary and after what felt like forever, you managed to answer. 

"Yes." you nodded, blinking and letting your tears slip a little over your cheeks. "Yes, I'll marry you." Dean exhaled and scooped you up immediately, hugging you tightly and the two of you took a second to kiss as Ellen started screaming happily in excitement. 

"Look at that Bobby! The kids are gettin' hitched! I'm so happy! Congratulations kiddos!" she whooped and hollered, banging her spoon against her plate. Bobby stood up and smiled, patting Dean on the shoulder and giving you a hug before Sam stepped up. 

"That's great. Really, congrats guys." he said, hugging his brother, then you right after. "So you said tomorrow? is that like...a thing?"

"Yes. I mean give or take a day or two but as soon as we can I want to do it."

"Well don't you think that's a little quick son?" Bobby asked Dean, seemingly concerned a little. 

"No, it's perfect. Look, I didn't ask because of the baby, or because of anything superficial. I just came to this realization that I don't know what is gonna happen in life. I mean obviously I can't die before the baby comes, but after that? I'm back to being blind and mortal and anything goes. I don't want to waste whatever time I got left, you know?" he tried to explain and Ellen chimed in.

"That's beautiful sweetheart, truly. We'll help however you need. If you're gonna pull this off in the next day or two then you had better get moving. I can take Y/N to get a dress while y'all work on the guest list. Where were you thinkin'?" she asked before Dean half smiled, looking at you, and keeping his arm around your waist. 

"The back yard. Here. We met here, we grew together here, everything important has happened here, so this is the best place I could think of. What do you think?" he asked you gently.

"I love it. Sounds perfect."

"Anyone specific I need to invite while you're out getting your dress?"

"Oh, uhm...no. No one. Whoever you want is fine." you smiled and kissed his cheek, letting him bustle into the living room with Bobby and Sam while you turned to follow Ellen to the car. When you arrived into the city, you stepped into the bridal shop and were immediately greeted by a worker. She said she had plenty of time to work with you, took your measurements, and scuttled off to get a few dresses. Ellen sat beside you and helped try on a few before you sighed. "Ellen, this is hopeless. None of these are me. I mean I'm excited to be getting married to Dean, but one day?! Twenty four hours? This is impossible." The two of you went from shop to shop and to no avail. None of the dresses you tried were 'the one'. You followed Ellen back home to find all three guys gone, having left a note saying they were gone to get some 'essentials', and forbidding them to go into the back yard. You minded the request, heading to the living room, and seeing Ellen standing there with her arms folded. 

"I have an idea. Come with me honey." Ellen led you to her room, grabbing a key from the bedside table, and opening a large trunk at the end of her and Bobby's bed. "Now, I didn't wear a fancy dress when Bobby and I got hitched, but I did buy one when I planned on marrying Joanna Beth's daddy. I was about seven months pregnant with her, and we got into it and I left him, so I never got the chance to wear it, but I know it fit me back then. Maybe it'll do you some good now if you like it." Ellen pulled out a beautiful vintage gown, adjusted for a rather sizable belly, ball gown style with plenty of comfortable wiggle room. There were lace accents throughout, just enough to accentuate your shoulders and open back. It was beautiful, white, with just enough Champaign colored perks to really make it stand out. The beading glimmered in the light and it was absolutely perfect. She helped you into the dress, and had you look in the full size mirror, clipping the veil into your hair just to see. "Now that looks gorgeous sweetie. Do you like it?"

"Oh Ellen, it's perfect! Thank you so much. Are you sure you don't mind?"

"Of course not. Jo always thought it was too retro for her so it isn't like anyone was ever gonna wear it, til now anyway. You're sure about all this right? Not just bustling to keep yourself from changing your mind? You do know he is gonna go back to being blind right?"

"Yes Ellen, I know that, but that's okay with me. We need each other. This, albeit very fast, is right. I can feel it."

~~~

The following morning, poor Sam was the one running interference, relaying messages back and fourth, directing the photographer, helping the caterers, and making sure everything was in place. Ellen stayed in your room with you to help you get ready, styling your hair and makeup as you wished, helping you get all tied and buttoned into your gown, adjusting your veil, and getting teary eyes once she finished. 

"Oh sweetheart." she smiled and shook her head, pulling you into a hug and whispering. "I may have lost my daughter, but honey I wouldn't trade you for the world. You take care of that boy down there, you hear? And don't you go letting him get away with any stupid behavior."

"Yes ma'am." You promised, tearing up yourself. "Thank you for being here for me. It means a lot." Just then a knock came to the door, and in stepped a rather snooty looking woman. 

"Y/N, long time no see. It appears you've really...gotten bigger."

"Mother? What the hell are you doing here?"

"I was invited, and so was your father. You didn't think he would miss giving you away did you?"

"He's never been around for anything else and neither have you, so what would be different now? Get out. I don't want you here."

"Well that's too bad."

"Who invited you anyway?" you scoffed, moving to the door, cracking it open, and calling into the hallway. "Sam! Sam come here please!"

"Sam! Yes! I am so excited you finally stopped being such a damn hermit crab and made yourself available to him. I liked him when you two were in school together, now you're marrying him and clearly enormous with his giant baby. It's lovely really." she said, somewhat condescending. 

"Well that just goes to show how much attention you pay. I'm not marrying Sam, and this is not his baby. Now leave." Sam entered the room after a quick knock and looked you over. 

"Wow, hi, you look amazing, uh, everything okay?" he asked before glancing at Ellen, then your mother.

"No it absolutely is not. Sam Winchester did you invite this awful woman into my house?" Ellen scolded him before he shook his head. 

"I can't say that I did, no. Dean and Bobby put Garth in charge of contacting the guest list."

"Well she is my mother, and she is not welcome. Neither is my dad."

"In that case, I apologize for the mix up, and I'll take care of it. Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you and your husband to leave." The woman scoffed and shook her head.

"Oh Sam, surely you won't deny two parents seeing their only daughter getting married will you?"

"I will, actually. If that's what Y/N wants." You nodded and Sam escorted her out, leaving you to turn back to Ellen. 

"Do you think if I asked Bobby, he'd give me away? He's been very good to me, and I think I'd like to have him do it."

"Absolutely sugar, I bet he'll be honored." The house was bustling and everyone was there. Ash, Garth, Jodie Mills, Cas, Crowley, Chuck, the ghostfacers Ed and Harry, the psychic Missouri, reaper Tessa, Death, Adam, Claire, Becky Rosen, Balthazar, Kevin Tran, Benny, Samandriel, Donna, Cole, Rowena, everyone. And those who had been effected by dying prior to this were there in spirit form, thanks to a favor given to them by Death himself. 

When the time came, everyone took their places, and Dean took his place by the alter. Sam was beside him, then Benny, with Castiel acting as the officiate.

"Are you ready for this?" Sam asked him quietly with a smirk. "She looks stunning."

He didn't get the chance to answer before the music changed, and the door opened to reveal Bobby escorting you. Dean's face changed from smiling to tearful, emotionally moved by your appearance. You smiled and stared at him, taking small steps to ensure you didn't trip. Behind the crowd of people, your parents stood watching, having snuck back in after Sam kicked them out. The trees were decorated with glittering lights and boughs of ribbon, matching the lace isle, and decorated tables. Everything was perfect. Even Dean's suit was real, not one of those fake FBI get ups, but an actual tux. 

"You doin' okay?" Bobby asked you just after your ankle wobbled some in the high heels. 

"Yeah. I'm perfect." you answered, staring at Dean, trying not to burst into tears. When you reached the alter, Castiel asked who was giving you away and Bobby stood with Ellen, stating they were, before Bobby took your hand and put it in Dean's. 

"You take care of each other, both of ya. You hear?" You both nodded before looking to Cas, and listening to his incredibly touching ceremony that he came up with on his own. 

"Dean, I believe you stated you had your own vows you wished to speak?"

"Y/N, I'm not a sappy guy, okay, you know that, but right here in front of all these people, I've never felt so comfortable just saying what I have going on in my head. When I got into that wolf accident, I thought I was done. I thought that was it for me, and I was actually willing to accept that fact. I was tired. Of hunting, of fighting, of being alone, everything. To my surprise I was saved by my little brother, but I couldn't see. I felt so broken because I couldn't function, and I didn't have the urge to even try to learn. Then Sammy called you, and you showed up, and made me want to get up out of bed in the morning. I was dead miserable before you came around, and I've never said it but you saved me. Everyday since we met, you saved me. I absolutely adore you Y/N, and I've never been so in love with someone. I've had relationships, but this...this is different from anything I've ever felt. You're my light in the dark. Always have been." He head your hands in his and tucked your hair behind your ear. "I promise to be better for you. TO be someone you can be proud of. Someone you can be honored to love, because you deserve every bit of happiness this world has to offer, and I might not be able to give you the universe, but I can give you my heart. My loyalty. My life. All my love. Anything you want, it's yours. I love you Y/N, and that's never gonna change. Come hell or high water."

Most of the guests were in tears listening to his words, and Cas turned to you.

"Y/N, your vows please. In your own words."

"Wow...tough act to follow." you giggled a bit, wiping your tears and giving the audience a bit of comedic relief. "Dean, you're frustrating. You are stubborn, and impossible, and as much as you drive me crazy, I wouldn't change a single thing about you. Not even your vision. You make me laugh every day, and even though we've had our rough spots, we always come back to the center of things and find each other. Things are complicated, that's just part of this life. Complications. But we...we always pull through it, and figure it out. We have this incredible life I wouldn't trade for the world, and I would be honored to be your wife. We are going to have this beautiful little girl, our friends, Bobby and Ellen...that's more in life than I've ever had before, and it's much more than I ever thought I deserved. I may have helped you Dean, but you saved me too. From my solitude. My unhappiness. Everything you've done for me, you did without trying, and it made all the difference in the world. I can't wait to walk through life holding your hand. So I give you my heart. My loyalty. My life. All my love. Anything you want, it's yours. I love you Dean, and that's never gonna change. Come hell or high water." You repeated his last bit and a tear fell down his cheek. You wiped it away with your thumb and smiled before Cas asked for the rings. 

The both of you repeated after Cas, placing the rings on each other's fingers, holding hands tightly for the last bit. Cas smiled and looked to you first. 

"(your full name), do you take Dean to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in front of these witnesses and God, for as long as you both shall live, and beyond?"

"I do." you stated without hesitation, nodding to go along with it. Everyone was totally silent, most just surprised Dean was actually doing this.

"And do you Dean Johnathan Winchester, take Y/N to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in front of these witnesses and God, for as long as you both shall live, and beyond?"

"I do." he said just as breathlessly as you had.

"By the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife. Dean, you may kiss your bride." With that said, Dean cradled your form and spun you around to dip you low, kissing you deeply before righting you, and kissing you several times over.

"I love you." he whispered, cradling your cheek, speaking so only you could hear between kisses. 

"I love you." you repeated, returning the gesture, and smiling at him. Everyone started to cheer and clap as Cas made his final announcement. 

"Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to announce to you, for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Dean Winchester!" The cheers were louder as the two of you walked back toward the house, and getting into the impala which was decorated in 'Just Married' décor. Everyone got into their vehicles and followed suit, heading to the rental space for the reception. Inside, there was the big table and the cake, drinks, a DJ, and a dance floor. THe two of you shared your first dance together, before splitting of so Dean could dance with Ellen, and you with Bobby. 

"Good job kiddo. You did very well. How do you feel?" he asked curiously, smiling as he spun you around. 

"I've never been better Bobby, really. I'm happy."

"Good. That makes me glad to hear." Suddenly Sam asked to cut in and Bobby obliged, handing you off to the other brother. 

"So Y/N, feel better? Butterflies gone?" Sam toyed, but you looked over at Dean who was still talking and dancing with Ellen, and you shook your head. 

"No. Those butterflies will never go away. Thank you for everything you did Sam, it meant the world really."

"Sure, no problem. I do have a question though...do you remember what Lucifer said? Back in that mansion?"

"About him getting you to say yes, then sweeping me off my feet to be his weirdo hell queen? Yeah. What about it?"

"Yeah...I'm worried about Dean. I was thinking about it and once he loses his vision again...there's nothing stopping Lucifer or someone from offing him at any time. Then he could come to me, strike some deal like 'say yes and I'll give his life back', and I probably would...but then I thought, what if you didn't know Dean came back? You'd be devastated, and then Lucifer could convince you, using me, that you have nowhere else to go. Nothing else to do. What then? What would you do?"

"Nothing because that isn't going to happen Sam. All I need you to do is tell him no. No matter the consequences. Please Sam, don't dwell on this now. Any of us could be killed at any time, I mean look how many spirits are here right now. That is why we did this. Because what's the point in wasting time?"

"Hypothetically." Sam continued. "Lucifer sometimes lets me surface when he is riding my meat suit, at least he used to before. What would you do then?"

"I don't know Sam, just do us all a favor and don't say yes. It isn't that hard. Now let's talk about something else." you pinched the bridge of your nose for a moment, squeezing your eyes shut, then opening them again. "Excuse me, I have to use the ladies room." you stated and walked away into the bathroom. For a moment, the room spun, and you had to use the sink to keep your balance. What was happening? Probably just low blood sugar you assumed. You decided to get back out there, cut the cake with Dean, ate a little, and went on with your evening. After the party, Dean whisked you off to the nearest five star hotel and led you up to the honeymoon suite. It was very extravagant, but perfect, especially with him there with you. The two of you sipped cider, cuddled, even swam in the giant pool together. Needless to say intimacy was not in short supply. It wasn't until about four in the morning you woke up without reason, and stumbled your way into the bathroom to vomit. Once you brushed your teeth, a dull pain started aching in your back, and you sat on the floor. Maybe a warm bath would help? You turned on the water and slipped into the tub, letting the water soothe your aching muscles. 

You only stayed in for about fifteen minutes before getting back out and trying to lay down. The dull pain had turned into a sharper pain, making it impossible for you to sleep, and within another hour, it was bad enough to leave you gasping. "Ah! Ow..." you whimpered, "Dean...Dean wake up." you tried to get him to stir, another wave of pain hitting you. "Ah! Dean! Dean get up. It hurts!" He rolled to face you still dazed. 

"Hm? What?"

"Dean! Get up, I can't, ow....I can't stand." you told him, causing him to jump up and move to the floor beside you. 

"Hey, hey, hey, what happened? Did you fall?"

"No, no I-" all of a sudden everything went black, and you fainted right there in Dean's arms. He started to panic, trying to wake you up, until two figures appeared in his peripheral vision. 

"Heya Dean, don't mind us." Lucifer stood there, holding Sam by the hair, making him look at your body laying there all helpless like. "Now like I said Sammy, it's up to you, but she is in labor, and I refuse to wake her up until you say yes. I know you're stubborn so I leave it up to you. Either say yes, or let her stay comatose. That's up to you."

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Dean demanded, glaring at the archangel. 

"I'm making little brother make a choice, see, I told him to tell the truth and he elected not to. So! That means he has to pay the price for that. Go ahead Sammy. Tell big brother the truth."

"No." Sam replied, wincing as Lucifer gripped and pulled his hair, then twisted his free hand and caused your body to backbend, and your unconscious self to cry out in pain. He was torturing you in front of them both, and Sam changed his tune. "Okay! Stop! Fine!" Lucifer let your body rest and he made Sam look at Dean. "I fell in love with Y/N." he admitted quietly. "She doesn't feel that way, at least I don't think she does, but I do, and he knows it. He wants me to say yes, and then take her from you." Dean looked furious.

"You are in love with my wife?! What the hell Sam?! Since when?!"

"Since you got your vision back. I connected with her and I just...I didn't mean to okay, and I wasn't going to do anything about it, but Lucifer-"

"Lucifer nothing! You can't have my wife Sam! And neither can the devil!"

"Oh contraire Mr. Winchester, I can, and I will. See the thing about it, I need her to love me back, and her first love here was our little Sammy. So If I am in his meat suit, and I allow him to surface from time to time, then we can share her. The only problem is you. So if I kill her, I can resurrect her, swipe her memories, and voila! Sammy is free to sweep her off her feet and we both win. Now either you can bow out gracefully, or I can devise some 'tragic plot twist' to get you out of my way without her blaming me for it. Regardless, I won't let you keep her for long. So, Sammy, can I have your meat suit?"

"Don't you do it Sam. Don't you give into that bastard."

"Oh, if he doesn't she dies now. And so does your daughter."

"Dean...I can't let that happen. I can't let them both die..."

"Sam!"

"What's more important Dean? Me or your family?!"

"You are my family dumbass!"

"Yes." Sam uttered. Lucifer perked up and looked at him. 

"Yes to moi? You're talking to me? I didn't quite catch that."

"Sam no!"

"Yes Lucifer. I'll let you in, under the condition that you cannot hurt Y/N. Deal?"

"Deal." With that, the whole room went dark and moments later, Dean was left with you in his arms, Sam unconscious on the floor, and in total shock. He grabbed his phone and called an ambulance, getting the paramedics to take you to the hospital. Sam stirred just before they arrived, and got to his feet. 

"Dean?"

"Get away from me."

"No, it's me. Sam."

"Bullshit. He's in there."

"He is, but he's....dormant."

"I don't believe you." Just then you stirred and started screaming. 

"Ow. Ow, Dean! Make it stop. I can't do this. I can't do it, it hurts!" You started crying, looking at the medics as they rushed in. 

"They're gonna help you sweetheart, I promise, I'll be right here with you okay? You can do it. The baby's coming." They wheeled you off to the ambulance, and once they got you out the door, Dean turned and hit Sam as hard as he could. "You're an idiot."

"No, I saved your wife and daughter. Hate me all you want but they're alive because of me."

"Yeah? For how long? A few days? Then what? I go blind, you off me, Bobby raises the baby, and you two sick bastards make off with my wife? Good job Sam. Way to use your head."

"What would you have had me do Dean?!"

"Make a counter offer! Call Death or Crowley! Bobby! Something, anything! Not cave like a little bitch! That is my wife and my child, and you two will not get your hands on them."

"I don't wanna take her from you Dean!"

"Of course you do! You just stood there and told me you are in love with her, plus Lucifer has the hots for her, so what am I gonna do huh? Other than kick your ass?"

"If he is dormant, then we have time. We'll figure it out."

"No we won't. Get away from me and stay the hell away from her."

"Dean-" All of a sudden, Dean turned and hit Sam as hard as he could square in the jaw, knocking him clean off his feet.

"Fuck you Sam. I have somewhere I need to be." With that, Dean went down to the ambulance and got into the back, sitting beside you, and holding your hand. 

"Dean..."you said quietly before you fell limp, passing out once more. The paramedics rushed you, checking vitals, poking you with various needles and fluids, and Dean sat back, a total mess, going into full shock when he heard one of the medics whisper.

"She is fading. We're losing her."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What!? Two chapters in one day?! Must be a miracle! Nope, just me cracking down on a story I started ages ago. As always please leave your thoughts and feelings down below! I do read EVERYTHING! Love y'all!


	9. Fade Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is willing to go to some pretty rough extremes for his family, but he isn't the only one willing to come up with a plan to save Sam.

Beep. Beep. Beep.  
Over and over, that sound just kept going in an elongated rhythm with your heartbeat. As you stirred some, you could hear faint voices speaking over the top of you, as shapes came slowly into focus. The color you could see most clearly was a teal green, the color of surgical scrubs, and white covering most of the faces staring at you overhead. You blinked a few times to adjust to the light, and heard the doctors speaking.

"Stable. We got her back for now. Nurse, keep her on the monitor in case of a relapse and get her into recovery." You tried to speak but your voice box felt dry while the rest felt like someone had shoved a steel wool pad down your throat. The doctor looked down at you and smiled behind his mask. "You're gonna be just fine we think." he attempted to reassure you, patting you gently on the shoulder. "Just relax and I'll have a nurse answer your questions once you're settled." You nodded, unable to do much else considering how many drugs they must have had you on between pain killers and sedatives. They moved you into a clean bed and wheeled you away to the maternity wing, giving you a beautiful, rather spacious, room with a view of the city out the window. They fixed up the pillows, got a heated blanket, making sure you were one hundred percent comfortable before giving you a glass of water to drink. You sipped, and cleared your throat, sipping a bit more before attempting speech. 

"Excuse me miss..." you croaked out, "but can you tell me what happened to me? Where's Dean?"

"Everything is alright now my dear. You were in a bit of a pickle to start there, but the doctor fixed you right up. Is Dean your...?"

"Husband. He's my husband, and I know he has to have been banging down these doors for answers. Can I see him? Where's the baby?"

"How about I go and get him for you alright? Tall? Handsome? Pretty green eyes and a jawline that could cut glass?"

"That's him." you smiled weakly, letting the pillow take your full weight as you pressed a small button for more morphine.

"I thought so. Ornery that one is. I'll send him in." You smiled and thanked her, closing your eyes for what felt like only seconds, until you heard familiar footsteps entering your room. You opened your eyes and looked to the door to see Dean standing there, staring at you in pure relief. He nearly sprinted toward you and wrapped you up in his arms, keeping you close so you couldn't see the tears forming in his eyes. 

"I thought I lost you Y/N. It was bad. Really bad..."

"I'm okay, I'm fine, but what about the baby...Dean no one will answer me about the baby. Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's okay. She is in the NICU on a breathing machine, but she'll be fine. They just want to make sure she is getting enough oxygen. She's little, and she looks like you, but she is beautiful."

"Did you get to hold her yet?"

"No. No not yet."

"So...what happened exactly?"

"That depends..." he hesitated and pulled back to look you over. "What exactly do you remember?"

"I went into labor and then everything went black. I woke up in a surgery room, and now I'm here."

"It was my fault...I never should have made that damn deal...long story short...Sammy isn't just Sammy anymore."

"No. Dean, he didn't!"

"He did. I saw it. Lucifer showed up and told Sam if he didn't say yes, he would kill you and the baby both. So he didn't hesitate. Of course that was after he admitted he has a pretty serious thing for you."

"Lucifer?"

"Sam." You both fell silent for a moment. He was frustrated while you were just trying to process what had gone on. "He came back out of it, said Lucifer was dormant, and I didn't stick around to listen. I hit him, and then got into the ambulance with you. There was another way, there had to have been, but he went and said yes and screwed the whole thing up!"

"Dean...this isn't just about Sam is it?" You asked, studying his face and tilting your head. "Once you hold the baby..."

"I'm gonna lose my sight again. Yeah. I know."

"Is that what's really bothering you?"

"It sure isn't helping! How am I supposed to fix this Y/N? How?" You thought for a long moment before you shook your head. 

"You're not. For once, let someone else handle the heavy stuff. This isn't your responsibility to fix. We'll think of something, but for now let's just...be happy we're alive, and that we have a pretty little girl waiting to meet us." As if on cue, the nurse strolled in with their little pink bundle, free of any breathing apparatus, and perfectly sound asleep. She handed her to you first, and you immediately fell in love with her. She did look a lot like you, though she had a few of Dean's features too. A perfect blend of the two of you.

"She's beautiful." Dean whispered, running his fingertip across her little cheek. "Like her mama." You looked away from her and over to your husband, smiling fondly before both of you leaned in for a gentle kiss. When you parted, you offered the bundle to him, which he somewhat nervously complied. Sitting in the chair at your bedside, he tucked her into the crook of his arm, moving the swaddle blanket away from her round little face, and swaying just a little side to side. He leaned down and kissed her forehead, and as he sat back up, his eyes widened a bit, staring at nothing in particular.

"Dean? What's wrong?" He brought his eyes to meet yours and he gave you a look of sadness and slight panic. "Dean?"

"It's time..." he said quietly, searching your face, looking down at the baby, then back to you. Darkness was clouding his peripheral vision rather quickly, meaning the time of his sight was coming to a close. 

"Already?! But..."

"It's okay Y/N...I don't need it to remember how beautiful the two of you are. I'm thankful, but you might have to help me out a little, learning the ropes again."

"Of course. Of course I will. I love you regardless okay? You don't need your vision to keep me. You never did. I'm going to fix this okay? We'll fix this Lucifer thing somehow, and you and I can grow old together, raising our little girl-"

"Lexi. I want to name her Lexi. I heard you talking about it before and I think it's perfect..." You nodded, your eyes getting teary as he continued to lose focus, and the cloudy exterior became visible, threatening to envelop the emerald hue around his pupils. 

"Lexi it is." You agreed easily. "I love you Dean."

"I love you." he responded before setting Lexi in the little bassinet, and cupping your face in hands. He looked over your face again before closing his eyes, and touching his lips to yours passionately. It lasted for a good thirty seconds or so, and as he pulled away and opened his eyes, there was nothing left of color. Just the milky remains of what used to be. His vision was gone, for good this time. 

~~~

Dean had stayed with you in the hospital for three days before you were released, taking Lexi home with you. You drove the impala, Dean in the passenger seat, baby in the back. You'd asked everyone to just stay home and wait so there was time for rest, to which they all respected. Dean carried the car seat in one arm, and kept your hand in his. You led him up to the door, opening it up, only for everyone to shout and holler 'surprise' and 'welcome home'. You smiled brightly, overlooking the faces there. Bobby, Ellen, Garth, Ash, and even Sam toward the back of the room. Hugs were given, cake was eaten, and Lexi was happily passed around to everyone. Sam was last, but when you handed her to him, he seemed hesitant. 

"I shouldn't."

"Sam she is your niece. The least you could do is-"

"With Lucifer in here?" he interjected a bit hotly. 

"He isn't surfacing right now Sam. I think it'll be fine for a minute." You put your daughter in his arms and he actually smiled, saying 'hi' to her, then looking up at you. 

"What's her name?"

"Lexi Ellen Winchester. If we have another, and it's a boy, I don't know what the first name will be but his middle name will be Bobby, but shh, it's a secret!" you smiled and winked, petting the soft hairs on top of the baby's head. 

"Well she is beautiful, really."

"Thank you Sam. Listen, I know you and Dean aren't getting along right now, but he is in a weird place right now. Try not to take it too personally. He's overwhelmed."

"I can do that." he agreed, before you turned and announced her full name to the whole room. Ellen nearly cried, moving to hug you and Dean both. Eventually, presents were opened, dinner was made, and before you knew it, you were exhausted. You got Lexi changed and fed, laying her in her crib in the nursery, and moved to the shower. You took your time, letting the hot water relax your aching muscles. You felt so good you even started to sing, softly at first, but as you lost yourself in the music playing from your phone, you grew louder and louder, really putting your heart and soul into it. When it ended, you stepped out of the shower, you wrapped a towel around yourself, and upon looking into the foggy mirror, you noticed a figure standing behind you. A shriek left your lips as you whipped around, only to see it was Castiel, just staring at you.

"Hello Y/N." he said in his usual froggy undertone. 

"Cas! What the hell!? Ever heard of knocking!? I was in the shower!"

"Yes. And your voice sounded remarkable, you should really do that more often, but I am not here to discuss human vocalization tactics."

"Oh, well then Cas, please by all means, what exactly is the nature of your intrusion?"

"I believe I've found an answer to this dilemma Sam has found himself in."

"Go on." you prompted him, turning your back to brush your hair, only glancing at him from time to time in the mirror. 

"I believe there is an answer, but it won't be an easy one."

"Is it ever?" you muttered sarcastically, before he continued.

"No, not typically. I found something big, but I'm going to need to recruit some unlikely help. You see I was rooting around in Heaven's archives, and there was a book that suggested the power of God could be borrowed for a price. With a power like that, we could expel Lucifer out of Sam's body with ease. The problem is the price. Dean isn't going to like it."

"What's the price for this God power Cas? Frankly it sounds a little...sketchy."

"The person who borrows the power sacrifices themselves in the end as payment, but if that means Lucifer is expelled and bound back into a stronger cage, then really, it seems worth it."

"No. I'm not letting Dean do that. He's lost enough, don't you think?"

"I don't wish for Dean to this. I have another plan, I just need you to trust me."

"Okay, and say you get this suicidal idiot to agree and get the power, how do you go about obtaining it in the first place?"

"His name is Metatron, the scribe of God. Sam and Dean have dealt with him before, but he knows how to translate the scrip I need to get the ingredients. Once I have that list, and obtain the items, I can summon God, no matter where he is."

"Castiel...this is big, okay? I mean I;ve heard the stories, and I know the boys have done some ignorant shit before, but summoning God himself? Cas that's crazy."

"I believe you humans have a phrase. 'So crazy, it just might work.' Is that it?"

"Yes, but Cas-"

"I wasn't asking for your permission Y/N. I was asking for your help. Are you in or are you out?" You thought for a long moment before nodding once.

"Alright I'm in, but we tell no one, you got it? If Dean finds out he'll flip, and if Sam knows, there is a chance Lucifer could be eavesdropping. What do we have to do first?"

"Step one, I get us into Heaven's jail, and we go try negotiating with Metatron. The steps can alter from there depending on various outcomes."

"Fine. Can I at least get dressed first?"

"Of course, I'll just...wait here." With a nod, you stepped out of the bathroom, and into the bedroom. Dean was fast asleep on his side of the bed, leaving space for you to get in when you were tired. Instead, you got into the closet, pulled on your clothes, topping it off with Dean's leather jacket he'd had forever. It was chilly out, and honestly Heaven could be cold too right? Regardless, you put it on, leaned down and kissed Dean's cheek, before taking the monitor and going downstairs to give it to Ellen. She was up, reading in the living room, and gave you a perked brow of a look. 

"Where are you off to young lady?" she asked, taking the monitor and setting down beside herself. 

"Cas needs my help with some angel thing. He was going to ask Dean but he's fresh blind again, and Sam is a little...compromised, if you recall."

"Right. Makes sense. Okay, I'll keep an eye on the wee one. This isn't anything dangerous is it? Like a case?"

"No, it isn't a case. He just has another angel to reason with is all. He needs a favor basically and thinks it'll look better if he doesn't show up alone."

"Okay, be careful."

"Always." With that said, you went back up to the bathroom to see Cas still standing exactly right where he was when you'd left. "Okay feathers, lets go get this over with..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments comments comments! I live for the feedback! I check my inbox at least three times daily and respond to everyone if I can! How are y'all doing??

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to let me know what you think! Who knows, I may just be persuaded to write another chapter if the public so demands it! ;)


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